Be Back soon

I'm breaking my blog silence.

I have no credible excuse as to why I haven't written as of late. I've just been soaking up life, leaving little time to regurgitate in words the events of my days and outrageous meanderings of my mind. I hate to admit when I've lost my "mojo" aka writer's block. But.... sigh.... it's the absolute truth. I have not written a word other than "milk & toilet paper" in over a week. If not for the grocery list, I would be completely devoid of any and all writing. I should probably leave it at that. But the blank page is irritating me.

Life is grand, work is all encompassing and I am absolutely content despite the fatigue of it all.

March 26th

Today is Mel's Birthday ! I think it's his 55th but I don't know for sure. He lies about his age. Anyhow, you don't look a day over 54! Happy Birthday Mel!

It's Easter

Did ya know? My kitchen is showing signs of cooking in anticipation for Sunday's feast. I'm actually involved in a "ham cook off" with Miss Nik. We are cooking dueling hams for a crowd - her family and friends. I'm just going for the jelly beans and to see my beloved grand babies. I might eat some ham. Especially mine as it's going to be the superior hock of the day. (Recipe is on Once Upon a Tine and I probably didn't leave out any secret ingredients - apricot jelly). I was relegated to do deviled eggs in mass quantities as I am apparent Queen of the Yolk.

The fish you ask? Are a whole other story. I am going camping tomorrow night but have no time to catch them. So they are thawing, straight out of Costco's freezer. I'll just throw a hook in their mouths and it'll be just like the real thing. They are going to Christen the new Weber. Oh speaking of, I saw the sexiest grill EVER today at some Lawn and Garden type store. It was $499 marked down to $299!! A blue Weber charcoal deal dropped in to a great big table dealybob with hooks for tools and a garbage can on the side and just adorable. Had I been alone, I would have succumbed to impulse purchasing and it would now be mine! But as it goes, Mel was with me and forbid me to make such a stupid purchase. The Jewish in him has saved me a lot of money lately..... But I still want it.

Pizza delivery is on it's way for movie night. Tonight's selection is "Atonement". The couch bed is pulled out and I have freshly painted toes to celebrate the occasion. Every fan in the house is desperately swirling coolness in my direction. It may be March, but it feels like April.

Happy Weekend Readers......

Up all night

I'm unable to sleep for reasons I can't get a handle on. Maybe work stress has lodged a knot in between my shoulder blades so deeply it is stabbing me in to conscientiousness. I've got to learn to have an "end of the day" where I no longer think about it and make time for life.

I've had so much to deal with this past year, and yes, it's now a year. I feel almost guilty that I am finally getting over it. It rolls around in my head and I will probably always wonder why..... But people soften with the stark reflection that comes with loss. It's much more gentle on this side of things nowdays. Even so, I'll be glad....

to take the blame.

A Stream of Random thoughts

I didn't mean to complain recently of my aches and pains and general malaise. Nothing more boring than that. I feel great despite the whiplash induced headache that I am enjoying tonight.

The folks that I rendezvous with three times a week at C-Tech continue to amuse the hell out of me. We all know about Tim, my direct partner. We have ongoing inventory situations as apparently neither one of us can count. I am taking blame here because someone has to. Maureen assures me it's internal problem all the while she is constantly negative about my part in it. Mark, on the other hand, is my constant ally assuring me all is well. Well I know better. I'm just going to continue to do my part even though job security weighs heavily on my brain. It might be time to procure a few more stable contracts.

Vickie had a significant car accident today. Well that makes two of us and as things always happen in threes, beware readers. You might just be the one to complete the cycle. Aren't you glad you are reading this? She's fine despite 2 broken ribs, a punctured spleen and whiplash.

I have to commend Zachary publicly. Zach is 24ish, maybe 25, no more. He is spending his youth backpacking across Europe. This is something we have all heard about but who really does it? He's the real deal. Came back to the States for a few months to make some money and that's where we met. He's here until May 26th when he leaves for his last great jaunt before settling down in Flagstaff to finish college. I'm already starting to feel the pangs of missing him. Days of shoving in light pipes and installing breather bars won't be the same without his comical presence. If I could do it all over again, I would follow his lead to not just live life, but savor the unknown, even if it means sleeping in the dust in India because that was all there was to offer. On the other hand, I am smack dab right in the middle of my own unknown. Lesson learned. I am savoring.

Life, Unscripted

The faithful duo of Nick and Zach arrived to do my work for me today as I dashed off to visit Dr. Kildare who confirmed my broken ribs, punctured spleen and lack of good sense resulting from a recent car accident that happened just a day after falling down a flight of stairs. Every day is an adventure! I licked my wounds by shopping in the Biltmore district later on, pretending I could afford anything there while trying to look inconspicuous in Saks with my Payless Shoe store boots. The Bentley parked next to my Toyota gave me away as I made a hasty departure back to my life..

I returned home to my scrambled house and Zach's sense of humor left behind. This crow, found somewhere in the garage is now perched on my kitchen sink making me laugh.

Just another Tuesday..

Size Matters

I have a Hydrangea bloom on my bedside table tonight that I bought at Safeway. Mel and I went there today to kill time amongst food stuff for lack of anything else to do. I wandered the floral department and my nose led me right in to a memory. The intoxicating sweet aroma of a small purple plant. In one smell swoop, it took me back to Indiana and spiraled childhood memories of Lilac bushes and tornado cellars and the farm living that I cherished.

It's the small things of life that have huge impact on a soul.

Mergers and acquisitions

It's time for a few upgrades, starting with my phone. I merged my sim card from the recently wine soaked Slide Phone to the newest sexy model that UPS was so kind to deliver tonight. I'm just looking at the thing wondering if I will ever learn to use it before I ruin it. Chances are, "no". I had not mastered the old one yet. The words of my father in law, Michel' echo in my head to "read the book". Well ya know I'm not going to do that. I am a more of a "trial and error" kinda gal.

Work is semi stalled this weekend due to inventory errors. Which brought Maureen around tonight to deliver the forgotten pieces. She arrived with her usual appetite and thirst. I was able to satisfy one of her needs. Since I was not cooking, we shared a bottle of wine and some poolside conversation. Our friendship seems to be splintered by my divorce as she works with both of us and is now uncomfortable with me it seems. We don't talk about it anymore, but it still lays there between us like a silent ghost no one dares mention. I doubt we'll ever bridge that gap. Another causality of the event.

I have been longing for a new grill. Just a Weber, nothing fancy. My neighbor has been indulging in backyard charcoal cookouts that smell so much better than my boring gas grill. I had to have one just for the satisfaction of building those charcoals into a pyramid and hoping the thing will light. Sitting in my backyard tonight, talking on the phone, I could smell the smell of someone cooking. I went on about how jealous I was about someones damn BBQ. 45 minutes later Paws was letting me know how good those pork chops smelled somewhere in the neighborhood and he was getting hungry. I suddenly realized, "shit, I am the one cooking"! I had put some ground pork on the stove for his dinner and forgot it. I dashed in the house just in time to avert disaster. Flames from his charred dinner were just starting. I was able to put out the fire with a bit of ingenuity (and a pan lid). I am going to burn this house down yet!

He ate it anyway.

I have a new Weber Grill. Did you know they came in a box and pieces? Hmmmm. There it will remain until I can charm some unsuspecting victim (Mel) into putting it together for me.

I am honestly not ashamed of my "Lucy" moments. I'm new at this, I keep telling myself.....

SPRING TRAINING
Mr. Cancer Survivor is getting ready for the season.

Yo eleven.......

You know you're a blogger when, you can't eat your dinner until you have taken a picture of it.

I am exhausted tonight, the good kind of satisfied contentment for my accomplishments. Several 12 hour days, a record breaking week for shipments and a 3 hour photo shoot today to get one decent head shot for the newspaper has me shot. But I "got er done".

Jeff Beck and Steve Forbert are the musical artists lending inspiration to my writing endeavours tonight.

Dinner was Greek salad again, in case you're wondering.

Sunset Salutations

Another causality. I fried my cell phone, again. This time with a glass of spilled wine. It slurred it's words most of the weekend and then finally gave up altogether today. Thankfully I have embraced the klutz in myself and had a backup ready to go, be it an inferior little piece of shit that I got for free as I am one of T-Mobile's biggest accounts. I have a sexy new version of Blackberry Pearl on the way complete with video cam! Something new to destroy. I am so excited.

My weekend delivered memories with my Grand Babies. Emma was a challenge as she is smarter than I. Each time she stunned me with something or another, I tried to turn it around on her. For instance, she was tired around 5P Saturday night and said to me" get out of my house. I want my mommy". To which I replied, "I am your mommy's mommy so I'm good enough". This launched us into a discussion of bloodlines. Yes she still two but has a mind of a three year old.

I attended an amazing lecture tonight, my Monday night enlightenment with Professor Tolle. The message he delivers is thought provoking. The crux of tonight's lesson is dissolving your EGO and experiencing life as it's meant to be lived. Being present in every moment and to ignore the ever ongoing, antagonistic, inner chatter of our brain. We are so set on getting to the next moment, forgetting this one. Nothing happens in the past or the future, but only in the "now". The "now" is the foundation for the rest of your life. We are always so anxious to get to the next. The next job, the next week, the next vacation - tomorrow when there is so much more to look forward to. But this moment is the one we looked forward to last week and so on..... The key to the lecture was to be in the present, always. No longer argue with what is, even if it's a situation you don't want. Accept it and you will lose all negativity. Then your actions will take on nonresistance and render peace to your precious days.

I have taken up the habit of consciously enjoying the sunset every evening, especially this time of year when the weather is perfectly amazing. I take this time no matter what's going on. If I am at work, have a class, or am writing - whatever it may be, I just stop.... no matter how hectic my mind thinks my life is, and have a moment with the end of the day. It brings me a great deal of peace.

This feels like.............. life done properly.

I'm Home

I've been livin out of a suitcase for the last couple of weeks, doing things for those I love. I'm going to unpack my bags tonight and settle back down into my life a bit. I do love my routine, my gardens and especially my home. It's good to be home.

Paying Life's Rent

I woke up with a teeth gnashing headache and all of it's symptomatic friends that will now go down into the anal's of history as Sunday, the second day in March of 2008. I hate lost days but always look back on them without regret as it's nature's way of handing me an excuse to slow the fuck down and take a nap...... Did I say anal and fuck all in one blog entry?? Damn headache has distorted my decorum.

It's currently 11PM, sans debated bath. I choose various perfumes and deodorant to get along with myself. But truth be told, I think I now smell like a urinal cake.

This all comes on the heels of a very trying weekend that saw me traveling some 300 miles between my home and his and the hospital at 1111 East McDowell to deal with a slight emergency surgery. As it turns out, our dogs presented the biggest challenge in the thing. Forget surgery, who's gonna scoop the poop and keep them in the style to which we have become accustomed? Turned out, it was me. Sometimes the tribulations are the best part of living. If you don't understand what I'm talking about, get a dose of life and enjoy your own misery. The heart of the lesson eludes me. But just the fact that I am aware is teacher enough for today. I'm so fucking tired it's just making me anal...................