Sunset Salutations

Another causality. I fried my cell phone, again. This time with a glass of spilled wine. It slurred it's words most of the weekend and then finally gave up altogether today. Thankfully I have embraced the klutz in myself and had a backup ready to go, be it an inferior little piece of shit that I got for free as I am one of T-Mobile's biggest accounts. I have a sexy new version of Blackberry Pearl on the way complete with video cam! Something new to destroy. I am so excited.

My weekend delivered memories with my Grand Babies. Emma was a challenge as she is smarter than I. Each time she stunned me with something or another, I tried to turn it around on her. For instance, she was tired around 5P Saturday night and said to me" get out of my house. I want my mommy". To which I replied, "I am your mommy's mommy so I'm good enough". This launched us into a discussion of bloodlines. Yes she still two but has a mind of a three year old.

I attended an amazing lecture tonight, my Monday night enlightenment with Professor Tolle. The message he delivers is thought provoking. The crux of tonight's lesson is dissolving your EGO and experiencing life as it's meant to be lived. Being present in every moment and to ignore the ever ongoing, antagonistic, inner chatter of our brain. We are so set on getting to the next moment, forgetting this one. Nothing happens in the past or the future, but only in the "now". The "now" is the foundation for the rest of your life. We are always so anxious to get to the next. The next job, the next week, the next vacation - tomorrow when there is so much more to look forward to. But this moment is the one we looked forward to last week and so on..... The key to the lecture was to be in the present, always. No longer argue with what is, even if it's a situation you don't want. Accept it and you will lose all negativity. Then your actions will take on nonresistance and render peace to your precious days.

I have taken up the habit of consciously enjoying the sunset every evening, especially this time of year when the weather is perfectly amazing. I take this time no matter what's going on. If I am at work, have a class, or am writing - whatever it may be, I just stop.... no matter how hectic my mind thinks my life is, and have a moment with the end of the day. It brings me a great deal of peace.

This feels like.............. life done properly.

I'm Home

I've been livin out of a suitcase for the last couple of weeks, doing things for those I love. I'm going to unpack my bags tonight and settle back down into my life a bit. I do love my routine, my gardens and especially my home. It's good to be home.

Paying Life's Rent

I woke up with a teeth gnashing headache and all of it's symptomatic friends that will now go down into the anal's of history as Sunday, the second day in March of 2008. I hate lost days but always look back on them without regret as it's nature's way of handing me an excuse to slow the fuck down and take a nap...... Did I say anal and fuck all in one blog entry?? Damn headache has distorted my decorum.

It's currently 11PM, sans debated bath. I choose various perfumes and deodorant to get along with myself. But truth be told, I think I now smell like a urinal cake.

This all comes on the heels of a very trying weekend that saw me traveling some 300 miles between my home and his and the hospital at 1111 East McDowell to deal with a slight emergency surgery. As it turns out, our dogs presented the biggest challenge in the thing. Forget surgery, who's gonna scoop the poop and keep them in the style to which we have become accustomed? Turned out, it was me. Sometimes the tribulations are the best part of living. If you don't understand what I'm talking about, get a dose of life and enjoy your own misery. The heart of the lesson eludes me. But just the fact that I am aware is teacher enough for today. I'm so fucking tired it's just making me anal...................

One more story before bed......

The Cookie Thief by Valerie Cox

A woman was waiting at an airport one night,

With several long hours before her flight.

She hunted for a book in the airport shops.

Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.
She was engrossed in her book but happened to see,

That the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be.

Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between,

Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.

So she munched the cookies and watched the clock,

As the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock.

She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,

Thinking, "If I wasn't so nice, I would blacken his eye."
With each cookie she took, he took one too,

When only one was left, she wondered what he would do.

With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh,

He took the last cookie and broke it in half.
He offered her half, as he ate the other,

She snatched it from him and thought... oooh, brother.

This guy has some nerve and he's also rude,

Why he didn't even show any gratitude!
She had never known when she had been so galled,

And sighed with relief when her flight was called.

She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate,

Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate.
She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat,

Then she sought her book, which was almost complete.

As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise,

There was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes.
If mine are here, she moaned in despair,

The others were his, and he tried to share.

Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,

That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief.

How many times in our lives, have we absolutely known that something was a certain way, only to discover later that what we believed to be true ... was not?

Yes, that was for you. Travel well and always share your cookies, you thief.

Politics in a roundabout way

Had a much needed long sit down with Professor M tonight. I've been a bit "off" the last few days to which I attribute to PMS moments (Pardon My Shit). The week, the flu and hormones are taking their collective toll on my attitude. It's not only her extremely educated mind that I cling to but rather her highly evolved spirit that always gets me back on track. We discussed our current personal events and gently argued politics, of which we have opposing opinions. I love debating this subject with her as I can see her side but remain determined to make her see mine. Our respect for one another makes for great banter and lively conversation, which I am always in need of. The conversation evolved to the lastest revolution sweeping the country fueled by Oprah's current book club book by Eckhart Tolle. I was reading this book long before she recommended it so I felt smug to have one up on her.

Eckhart Tolle has been an author I've respected since I read "The Power of Now", but I always found him hard to grasp. However there are passages that speak to me, such as this from that:

One day a stranger walked by. "Spare some change?" mumbled the beggar, "I have nothing to give you," said the stranger. Then he asked: "What's that you're sitting on?" "Nothing, " replied the beggar. "Just an old box. I've been sitting on it for as long as I can remember. "Ever look inside?," asked the stranger. "No," said the beggar. "What's the point, there's nothing in there." "Have a look inside," insisted the stranger. The beggar, reluctantly, managed to pry open the lid. With astonishment, disbelief, and elation, he saw that the box was filled with gold. I am that stranger who has nothing to give you and who is telling you to look inside. Not inside any box, as in the parable, but somewhere even closer: inside yourself.

I find that prophetic as he is trying to say that happiness in living comes not from material substance but rather from within. The evolution of our own spirit is a necessary element to live the life we imagine. His current book digs much deeper into this subject and the fact that Oprah has taken up the cause with her mass audience is retrospective. Just for the fact that so many people are not only reading it but gaining positive insight makes me wonder deeply about the energy of spirit. If a collective group of people begin having these positive thoughts, we can't help but to infect the world. I am a huge believer in the power of positive thinking and how it can affect change. Which leads me to the current political energy. We need change right now and it's going to take a leader that gives people hope. Once hope is established, change is not far behind. I do believe Barack Obama, even though a politician, can establish this change. And so.... there's my endorsement for President.

Martini Days

In a recent writing lesson I was taught to just pound out your thoughts on the keyboard without the analysis of thinking and just go where it takes you. Raw is usually real whereas trying to write results in something scripted. So I am pounding away at the keyboard tonight in hopes I can get there.

I am currently caught up in gratitude for friends and the people that are crossing my path these days. My life has been shaken and stirred recently and it's resulting in a fine blend of spirituality and sometimes harsh realization.

I woke up wondering why bother this morning. Sometimes the daily trudge is heavier than I think I can carry. But I put one foot forward once again. It was a long day and as I have small feet I felt like I was getting nowhere. Work was long and tedious and 12 hours in to it I was lamenting the daunting the task and pretty much feeling sorry for myself for it all. Until Vickie called. She had a bad day and called me for insight and inspiration, as if I had any to give. The simple fact of talking it out and realizing we are all going through the same treacherous journey had huge impact on me. She told me of her fears and I told her mine. She bolstered my confidence and I hope I had the same impact on her. As we hung up I started thinking about the impact we have or can have on another person if we approach everyone we encounter with unconditional understanding. We are all in this human condition after all. Our conversation renewed my spirit and brought me back to the fact that to live this life we have to be observers of it all rather than trying to figure it out. So I stepped back from unimportant daily details and stepped in to the wonder of it all.

A week in pictures

Booty Call

I met Judy at the Farmer's Market today. Loved her!

Still Car Shopping.......

Mi Amigo' with attitude.

My neighborhood as seen from my front porch in the morning.

Soccer Joy!

DAILY COMMUTE.

Jackhammer

This had nothing to do with me.

Tempe Tim, partner in crime.

My usual blogging has been preempted by the flu. Be back soon.

Confession

Two words...................Big Brother. It's my guilty pleasure. I have a voyeuristic nature to begin with so to have a BB 24 hour feed is like crack to me. I cannot stop watching, much to my detriment. This time of night is writing time, my book that is not, my food column which makes me go ARGHHHHHHH. Those are the things I am supposed to be focusing on after my day at OVF. However...... I am mesmerized by the drama of this STUPID SHOW.

God Bless the distraction. It's just what I needed right now.

Recommendations

The entire crew of Overflow is sick resulting in an early finish today. I am OK with that as I too have the bug and am running slow.

I'm not much of a red wine drinker, but am trying to acquire a taste for different wines to round out the education of my pallet. I bought a bottle of red at Whole Foods last week. Choose it for the label, of course, as I don't know the good from the bad or the ugly. But intend to learn. This wine is called simply "Pomegranate" which sold me as it sounded healthy. I did a little research on this bottle and it seems I made a very good choice. Interestingly enough, there are few places around the world that produce pomegranate wine. There is a winery in Armenia that produces this semi-sweet pomegranate wine. Besides the fruit flavors present, there are predominant flavors of tobacco, cedar, oak and dried herbs. A sweet and interesting blend.

Oh and I can recommend tonight's dinner recipe (posted at Once Upon a Tine). I made a Spannikopita for beloved Mel who is in dire need of spinach. Along with Butternut Squash soup that I tried to duplicate from Tutti Santi's menu

Movie to watch! I rented the movie "No Reservations" from a vending machine in the grocery store. I expected a lighthearted comedy as it got bad reviews, but I really liked it! The premise centered around food, so it was my kind of entertainment. It's not deep but tugged at the heartstrings with the emotions of loss and moving on. I would recommend it on a rainy Saturday afternoon when you have nothing else to do.

Spell checker is working again. Whew.....

Bits & Pieces

I am currently reading New Earth Awakening to your Life's Purpose.

Total Lunar Eclipse Tonight. It will be the last total lunar eclipse until 2010. It's cloudy in Phoenix tonight. Shit. At least I can say I caught the last one. Blogged it even....

I am sick and lacking appetite and sense of humor. Mel is on his way to try to restore both. Good luck with that.

Big ole powerball jackpot tonight.

Photo of the eclipse courtesy of C.A in Illinois.

Thank you!

Education in Adversity

In a moment of melancholy I sat down at my old desk and revisited my now aging PC. It's been a year since I even came in to this room. Why tonight? I don't know. But it's as if time stood still here. The calendar pad under the keyboard reads March, 2007 the month my world changed. The photograph of my lightening shot over Camelback mountain is still hanging in here. I forgot all about it and really should bring it back into the world. It's a good shot. The desk drawers are littered with long ago forgotten items. White out - nobody needs that anymore. My disc with AOL press, completely out of date but I would use it today if I was still writing websites. A tablet that Phil scribbled some numbers on. Who knows what he might have been calculating. Most likely the number of days until he could leave me. Months have passed but this computer and desk have been frozen in time with his notes in a drawer, the IChing on the desktop and the music he downloaded playing on iTunes. I don't know why it's taken me so long to get rid of this last piece of history. But as it's the anniversary of his "Judas Kiss" I suppose it's apropos now. This will be my final writing on this computer and then the whole thing is getting reformatted. I don't need it anymore.

Life is an adventure in acceptance and forgivness.

My side of the story

If you want my weekend recap just read Mel's blog as he took the liberty of embellishing my life in public. I do have a clean truck though, that much is true.

GooaaaaaaLLLLL!

Emma scored the only goal for her team today. Such a huge accomplishment at 3 years old.

Popsicle Toes

I am on the edge of weary at the end of my day and the weather is helping me in that regard. It is so dreary, drab, cloud socked in rainy dark...... just the way I like it kind of an afternoon. Zach called me around noon and asked me if I still wanted to golf today or was I afraid of the rain. I told him I had more work than expected for the weekend so I was going to get ahead of the Sunday night panic curve and get the balance of it done. The last thing in the world I would have wanted was a hefty schedule today, as I am sleep deprived. Between the late seating Valentine's dinner last night and the early morning delivery that I had to do, I am running on satisfied empty today. It was a great weekend and there are still two more days of it!

Zach showed up with reinforcements some 10 minutes later rescuing me from mountains of plastics. He Tyler and I worked a long afternoon, mostly in silence. We are rarely silent when we work here. Since it's such close quarters and in such an informal setting, people feel compelled to make polite chatter. An issue I have often wrangled with. Since our work is so tediously mundane, I am often found with my iPod on my head reading a book or two. But in a room with 1-2 other people, it's rude to shut your self out via headset. We have all tried it at one time or another, but with the same outcome. It feels rude. My point, if I even had one, might have been that we three worked without radio or TV or conversation today and it felt perfectally comfortable. We were unspoken commrades.

I couldn't wait until they left. Give me my house back!! I am tired. I had a wacky notion to pull out the bed in the couch in OVF's main room and hang out here tonight writing bad blog and watching worse movies. I feel like I am camping in my house cold and all as I refuse to turn on the damn heater. My toes are like popsicles.

A funny funny thing just happened unless you hate it when people talk about their pets. It annoys me too, but shit, sometimes it's all we got to talk about! Paws is getting settled into the couch/bed and his ass just went into the sinkhole at the bottom with his head some 3 inches higher. He looked at me as if to say "I'm comfortable like this". But he looks ridiculous. We are kinda digging this bedroom in the living room "studio apartment" sort of thing we have going on. Everything I need is just right here. The refrigerator is exactally 21 steps away before the staggering begins.

A fact: I wrote the very last line of this post first and then assembled my thoughts around it to bring you this story of my day. Please don't judge my last thoughts first.

Cliff Notes of my Life

If you could see my world at this moment you would see the colorless sunset which is just as spectacular as when it puts on a show. Tonight it's just easing gracefully down over the top of my brick wall. There are 5 tall skinny palm trees paling to black against the light blue sky. It's really quite spectacular and I should not take it for granted just because it's a nightly show.

I find it annoying and comforting that friends are still prefacing conversations with "how are you doing"? I know that after all of the hell I drug ya'll through, you have every right to your concerns. I am far removed from last year at this time but I still seem to be in the telephoto lens of my fate. Let me just tell you, I can see the bigger picture now.

OVF has suffered a mutiny leaving me back to scrambling with the workload completely on my shoulders again. I felt the pressure of production this week for the first time in awhile. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. I had gotten quite comfortable with my role as propriater and getting back in the trenches shows me problems, areas we are getting lazy. I can see where streamlining can benefit, I become full of ideas and improvements when involved in the actual toil of it all. So I'll just hang the "HELP WANTED" sign once again. I have been here before. The familiar territory will get me through this current evolution.

In the Writing Garage

As predicted, it was a perfect weekend. The good weather was expected. What I didn't expect was this shift in attitude I have recently aquired that doesn't seem to go away. I have never been so completely without struggle. Oh I have the same precieved "problems" like everyone else. The bills and tasks of living are always going to be there and my EGO will continue to get in my way, but I'm learning the big lesson of letting it all just unfold without taking it personally. I am currently standing outside of my life while I wait for my next big task. So I gave in to these feelings and have had the benefit of two blissfuls days doing nothing out of the ordinary, but jut enjoying every minute of it.

It was perfect...........

Saturday was crack of dawn soccer cheering for Emma Hamm, star of her 2-4 year old league over there in Surprise, AZ. That was #1 event of the weekend. But there were a few honorable mention moments you might enjoy. One of them being that Mel and I hiked South Mountain, so be it in an Expidition, but for me, that was an exercise in tenacity since I am such a big fan of four wheeling and scarey switchback mountain roads. Once at the top it was a little bit awe inspiring. Even Mel was humbled for once as we marveled at "how the place has grown".

Second & third moments are restaurant reviews, so bear with me. These can be fun. Mel's current mission is to introduce me to every hole in the wall restaurant that has been in business for 30 years or more. You know the type, one family owned, reknown for some reason or unduplicatable recipe that just kept them far enough from progress but not from success. These great establishments are generally humble storefronts with quaint & charming interior surroundings that you just know have been in place for the duration of the place. No updating necessary when you have a good streak going, afterall. The first such place this weekend was:

The Knock Kneed Lobster, let the name speak for itself. Their address @ 32nd Street and Washington in the red light district of Phoenix is just west of Tire Dawg's. Both of which are on the same unfortunate path of the up and coming LIGHTRAIL construction that is about to devour history on this corner. The parking lot is a gravelly space in the back of a nondescript building. Mel advised me not to talk to anyone if confronted out here. So much for valet parking. He reaches for the apparent front door. Let me just say that if you had never been here before, you would have never gotten in because the "front door" in the back of the building was white metal with a steel rod handle and no sign. Who knew? Glad I was with such a historian. When I questioned him about how he knew how to recgonize the front door he just said "Oh, I don't know, I have been coming here for years". SEE! This word of mouth restaurant was worth my wait. The entry hall, akin to grandma's back porch with a Centipeed arcade machine was first opinion. The restaurant itself was as clumsy as the name implied, but one of the more charming places I have visited in quite awhile. It's so laid back, you just hope to find an employee with which to place your order at the walk up counter. Hand written signs cajolled us to return with our claim ticket when our number was called or we would be denied our food. The propaganda in general plastered on the walls had a threatening tone as if their arrogance with fish house fame makes them in charge of all that enter. But I softened to gingham table cloth type dining with nautical decor that did not blend and a wooden bathroom door that was aged enough to offer a splinter. But the place had ambience if not downright character. The food is fish and chips, made with Alaskan or Icelandic cod; deep fried in pure lard that is the draw to this out of the reach spot. If you simply want to taste the most decadant comfort seafood and forego guilt, you can give yourself up to this place. No one would disagree with facts, 47 years in business on the same spot and still acclaimed. I can recommend it.

Sunday's assignment was La Pinta Mexican restaurant on 19th Ave and Osborn in Phoenix. Now when we arrived the above pictured storefront was my first impression. My mind's eye saw bare lightbulbs glaring over uncomfortably close booths with questionable service and I was hesitant. Oh how we judge. The entry was startling as it was bigger than imagined and warm and cozy. Red and Mexican decor of endearing charm reaked with comfortable familiarity. Anyone that has reminisced about a good Mexican Restaurant in Arizona has envision a place just like this. The food was typical Mexican fare but with a genuine taste, and atmosphere to match, this is another one that you'll want to be able to claim, "I've been there".

With so much gastranomical success in one weekend, it was time to quit eatin'. Mel and I ended Sunday night in lounge chairs with the promised Corona and lime, saluting our gratitude.

Besides the highlights and the honorable mention stories of the weekend, there was the in between it all that made it something special. Rather than bore you I'm going to just write the rest of it off........................ But that was the memorable part.

Tonight's Disclaimer, Blogger's Spellcheck is still not working and I am to damn lazy to give any more effort other than hope for the best ...........

Best Prank Ever

Signs of Spring

I have spring fever. I am so anxious to get growing. I have been sowing seeds in Emma's garden for the last week. With this great sun and warm days, I think my timing may have been perfect. I expect to see life creeping out of the ground any day now. This is the time of year that we live here for and I intend to relish every second. Much to my astonishment, PawPaws took the plunge today. First swim in the pool for the season. I don't know what he was thinking. It had to be cold and I yelled at him to get out. He did, acting all smug about the whole thing. But he must have been freezing his ass off!

Emma's tree is budding already!! Yes, everything belongs to Emma.....I just raked up the last of it's leaves last week and it's already coming back. It was only dormant for a few minutes. It's going through a big growth spurt this year and should actually provide shade on the NE side of the house this summer.

I hate to brag about our temperatures, especially when I think of Cindi over there in Illinois living vicariously through our weather reports. But I'm gonna do it anyway. It's still 70 degrees at 5 PM tonight, simply the most perfect day yet this year. But the weekend promises to hold some record breakers for perfect. We may see 80's but are assured high 70's both days. I am going to make the most of every minute of it. A hike for sure. A little horseback riding on Sunday at South Mountain and without a doubt some intense gardening concluded by a Corona and lime while soaking up a bit of sun watching the hot air ballons behind my house rise in the late afternoon sky. A huge V of geese just flew over with a few stragglers in the rear trailing behind. There is something about the geese that just brings out the zen in me.
Namaste'

Fat and Super Tuesday

Fat Tuesday and Super Tuesday collided today in a barrage of beads and political retoric. New Orleans is celebrating the day before Lent with Carnival while most of the rest of the country is going to the polls. 24 States to be exact. Early afternoon CNN is reporting that enthusiastic voters are recording heavy turnout across the country. Of course California is the prize and will be last reporting today. The only issue so far in this primary election is with the State of Arizona that is reporting numerous problems with provisional ballots which may send final conclusion in to a very late night. I will certainly be glued to my media source of CNN droning on in the background of my living room for the latest breaking news.

I went out to vote myself today at about 9:15. Work at OVF was underway with Nik and Zach at the helm. I excused myself to exercise my rights as an American citizen. I walked to the elementary school a few blocks away were I would too, cast my opinion. I was so in the spirit of doing the right thing that I got all "green" about it and left my truck at home. A decision I second guessed when I got to the lake with the wind blowing across it in the 40 degree temperatures making me feel like I was doing hard time. I entered to no lines to stand in, delighted that it was to hot in there. The blue hairs in front of me were arguing with the volunteers that were just trying to follow the rules. They apparently did not have the right credentials and were asked to cast a provisional ballot, to which, they were outraged and trying to justify themselves. There's just no getting away with it at the polls if you don't have all of your "P's and Q's" in order. They left in a huff. My turn. I was similarly interrogated for ID. I whipped out my voter registration card and ID, feeling smug. Well, I too am an apparent bad citizen, even though my ID is up to date. My registration still had my old last name listed and spelled wrong. SIGH. The remedy was to present a bank statement (like I carry one with me on an everyday basis) or my car registration. Again, SIGH. I explained I walked and my car was blocks away. I was coralled over to the provisional officer. At least they had my party affilliate right, so I took my chances and cast my vote. With AZ having the problem with provisional ballots, I guess I am amongst the statistics.

But I had bigger fish to fry. Work concluded a lot earlier than anticipated which left me with a free afternoon that I didn't expect. I moseyed to the corner strip mall to have my tires rotated. I felt pretty proud of myself for taking care of necessary shit. However the guy told me it was a 2 hour wait. SIGH. I made an appointment for 8 AM and wondered over to Staples to buy things I don't need. Next door was Petsmart. I went there to buy PawPaws some cheew-eez to make his day. While I was shopping, I heard a child wailing "I want a Beta". He was making a childish spectacle that I had to witness. I went over to the fish tanks where he was pleading for a blue fish in a little cup. I took up his cause and said to him "I want a Beta too". He looked at me with gratitude and said"right? a blue one". I agreed wholeheartedly as his dad rolled his eyes at me. A kid should have a fish if he wants one. My new friend and I each left there with a blue Beta.

I am pretty proud of my new fish. I got home and spent an hour or more making him a home. I planted him in my bathroom in front of the mirror. He seems happy. I read up on Beta's and their evolution from Japan and their habits. Beta's are like roaches in Japan. They live in the streets in miniscual puddles and are a nusiance. Here, however, they are pets. I've named my new Japanese roach, Nemo. It seems that these fish prefer to live alone and if confronted by another fish, they are aggressive. Last I checked on Nemo he was looking at himself in the mirror thinking he was another fish and "puffing" up in a display of superiority. I have an arrogant and very stupid fish.

SIGH...

Giants WIN !!!! What a game!! This was the best Superbowl in decades What a comeback!!!!! Eli is the real deal and he pulled it off! Manning brothers back to back champions.

See the ad you couldn't see on TV