I CAN'T cook

At day's last light I am cooking New York steaks on the grill for our dinner. (Our being Paw Paws and me). He's an even more eager companion than Maureen, and much less opinionated. We've been relegated to the grill, not by choice, but rather that the city of Glendale and Southwest Gas has deemed me "unfit to cook" after my adventure with carbon monoxide poisoning last evening. A few years ago, in a fit of Y2K planning for disaster mentality, I found it necessary to install Co2 detectors in the house. Never gave it a second thought until the damn thing sounded it's alarm late last night. I assumed it was a mistake but read the box that said "move to fresh air" with alarm! What does it mean? What do I do now? I googled it. Google will know what to do. But the information was horrific and described all of the symptoms of Co2 poisoning and as I read on, I began to develop them one by one. The words on the screen said call 911. I thought that a bit of overkill, so I called the police non-emergency number and asked their best advice. They in turn, turned me over to the fire department who called the gas company who arrived an hour later. The representative from the gas company was a kid from Alabama with no hair and a Geiger counter strapped around his neck. His meter's reader informed him that yes, we had a problem. My Co2 levels were indeed out of whack. He was excited to get to the root of the problem. He scanned everything starting in my bedroom, where there is very little gas and so that seemed odd to me. I didn't want to point out that the alarm had been installed there to wake me up if needed. He eventually made his way to the kitchen and to my stove where his Geiger counter topped the charts. His investigation entered my oven where ah ha! he'd located the problem being food spillage blocking the ducts causing a gas leak. The fact that my dirty oven nearly killed me was mortifying. I blamed it on the caterer's and then the old oven. But the truth was glaring. I was given a citation by Alabama and the gas to the kitchen has been manditorily disconnected. I am no longer fit to cook and not quite sure what it's going to take to get my privileges back.

So tonight steaks, finished off by Oreo Cheesecake right out of the box, leftover from Michel's birthday party. Tomorrow, some crock pot magic. By the way, cheesecake gets rubbery after day three. After that, I am going to be looking for dinner invitations as my kitchen is now............... closed.

While you were away.......

Today was a good day not to breath.

The dreaded brown cloud is back caused by recent winds stirring things up and most likely further fueled by the California fires, currently topped off with high pressure that won't let it escape. I celebrated the event by not leaving my house. However, in attempt at being constructive I had a cooking moment that erupted into a small kitchen fire forcing me to open my windows to let the smoke out, adding to the cloud. Sorry about that. I'm either going to have to quit cooking or buy a self cleaning oven.

It's been a long time between blog posts, all for good reasons. When I do find time to write, I'm spending it constructively, looking for the ever elusive inspiration for publication.

Michel turned 18 (tomorrow actually) but having celebrated it last Saturday. This reality is a tough transition for me and I spent the afternoon reflecting passing youth. I am brought back into focus from my afternoon malaise by a demanding cell phone and a barking dog that turns out to be mine. We have already gotten one warning from the city about his disturbing of the peace, I reluctantly get up to go quiet him down. Paws adheres to my command to shut up and looks at me with complete understanding. There is that heavy tug at my heart as I kiss him between the eyes and silently thank him for his unconditional friendship. We have spent nearly a decade and a half together and I have to accept the pending truth of a lifespan. His recent diagnosis of cancer (of the lymph nodes) is really hard for me to accept. I have lost everything this year. Do I have to say goodbye to him too? Michel and Paws grew up together. Michel is grown and gone but Paws and I remain to finish this chapter. I hope there are a few more pages to turn. I'll spend his final days loving and appreciating him rather than foreseeing the calamity, therefore not suffering it twice. I'll be OK........... though not holding my breath.

"If your going thru hell, keep on movin, don't slow down, if you're scared don't show it. You might get out before the Devil even knows you're there".

Yo Jack

Fires and Fog

It's cold tonight. No complaints. The Santa Anna winds are blowing their remnants in our Arizona direction reeking havoc on my backyard. I came home from a party I attended last night, this morning, to a patio furniture disaster. There was an umbrella in the pool and another one had risen from it's anchor, out of the hole it was housed in through the middle of a patio table onto the side yard ripped to shreds. The telescope cover is swimming and the pool resembles a murky pond with all the mud and leaves. I wonder how long it will take to return to blue. Just the latest in my string of amusing disasters. I've yet to talk about last week's bedroom fire............

Though my intentions were good, my Sunday fell flat for a second week in a row. I spent the day chasing a hangover cure having over indulged Saturday night. I don't think I regret it, as I had a good time.... well, maybe a little. Spent the majority of the day when not concocting hangover shooters, writing, hoping something would catch fire. A welcome relief. I had an inspired brain that I did not expect. So I ran with it. Starting with an assigned story of last night's party, to some book work to the journal and concluding with this bit of blog. Usual writing doubts fill my head. This voice of self doubt keeps pushing me against the wall making it hard to stay on target. For inspiration I read this passage:

You don't live there always when you write. Mostly it's a long hard walk. Sometimes it's a trudge through fog and you're scared you've lost your way and can't remember why you set out in the first place.
But sometimes you fly, and that pays for everything.

It's hard to believe my one day off is nearly over. I could use another. This must be why weekends were invented. I am hoping for one of my own soon. If I can carve out even 48 hours to do with what I will I plan to run away from my life again. It's been to long between excursions. I would like to spend another weekend in Denver, but will most likely just retreat to my favorite bed and breakfast in Scottsdale for a couple of days.

I've spent enough time in this fog. A cigar and night's sleep should clear my head.

Postscript: I am out for my evening smoke and found it teeth chattering cold now. I had to retreat to the garage for a clandestine cigar. I am wearing goofy pajamas that resemble wallpaper from the 50's. I hope tonight does not bring a burglar, or cars crashing into my wall or a late night fire. I would hate to be caught in this getup.

A week in review

Nothing so dramatic to report as a car hitting my backyard wall, but all in all it has been an eventful / uneventful week.

Work is the dominant force now. I eat breath and sleep it. There are a few minutes in between, but they are few. Progress consumes my mind. In a short time I have evolved this thing from a kitchen table hobby to a full fledged corporation. We are now Overflow, LLC and looking for warehouse space. I look around my small operation at the end of the day with extreme satisfaction and humble gratitude.

Had an evening with Maureen that was a bit o' work, but mostly spent eating fajitas and smoking in the dark while we pondered life. We realized that we know nothing about it. We are each reading the new Joel O book for enlightenment.

Last night was spent at Cheescake with Mel. His comic relief always relaxes me. We argued about the menu and the tip all the while he spent flirting with the waitress, Erin. She was indeed cute, but to young for either of us. Katie has awakened my lesbian tendencies with her daily talk of women being much better companions. She just may have a point.

Vickie's book is soon to be published. She is down to deadline and calls me in frantic moments of editing. I am envious.

As for moving forward, there is nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.

Pictures this week:

The workforce.

Peace

Fun with dirty words

Autumn is trying to arrive here in Phoenix releasing summer's tenacious grip. The battle between the two seasons seems about to conclude. When summer finally throws in the towel I can dust off my sweaters and relocate the patio fireplace to a more usable location. I daydreamed about the first fire of the season while I sweated out some long overdue yard work this afternoon.

The work at Overflow has melted from daily chaos into a well oiled mechanism. We've come through a big growth spurt with uncertain grace. The usual crew arrived at 10 and fell into place without talk or confusion. Today seemed undemanding and yet we shipped an all time high number of 559 plastics with but 5 hours effort. Tomorrow holds another day off for us all. I'm not sure what adventure I am headed for, but expect greatness from the day.

It has been brought to my attention that I have the vocabulary of a truck driver and don't hesitate to regale all who will listen. I learned it from Mel. Before I met him, I was a demure, prim and proper housewife that rarely even thought the "f" word out loud. These days however I have taken literary license to expel expletives as it drives home a point and is a pressure valve that I often release. In an effort to clean up this beloved habit, a pay-per-vulgarity has been implemented around here. This has become costly. I had a $5 sentence last night alone! This rule extends to the workplace where I am raking in a small fortune. I may just throw in a twenty and go crazy tonight.

As Saturday gives in to night, a chill has settled over the valley sending me inside to write the night away. I haven't written a word in far to long and my brain has a lot to exudate.

Autumn has finally won the day.

Day Off Report

Another Sunday emerges out of the turmoil that was last week and it is all mine to do whatever I want to do with it. My responsible self wanted to take care of unattended details such as paying bills, doing laundry, having quiet time with my business to resume order. Instead, I went hiking in Carefree. The day was paradisaical, starting with getting lost and doing the Carefree / Cavecreek loop a time or two adamant we would NOT ask for directions. Though the intended hike was Seven Springs, the destination became Spur Cross something or another. The outcome was perfect. An easy hike, argumentally subjective. Ending with was was meant to be sandwiches, chips and wine in the back of the Expedition. However after discussion became fried chicken and strawberry shortcake at the Horney Toad. With tired bodies and satisfied bellies, Sunday concluded.

Work is continued bedlam but with the addition of a new character, Katie Lane. She is not only going to fit in but I suspect will snowball us all with her extreme personality and rival Emo's humor. First day on the job someone askes her how she knows me. With straight face she says we were once Lesbian lovers ????? With fits of laughter, Katie has intregrated herself into our Overflow community.

Many events of this past week clamor to stand out. And the winner is:

Rodney hits the wall.

Friday night was dinner at Carvers which is a blog entry in and of itself. Late night happily installed in bed there is a tremendous crash about 1 AM that can be none other than that a car has crashed into the wall behind my house. I always knew it would happen for some reason. And so it did. I did the obligitory call to 911 and barely dressed for the occassion to go rescue the victim. Who turned out to be Rodney. My pal Rodney crawled to the sidewalk and I tried to console him while we waited for help. There we sat, I holding Rodney's hand and telling him he was OK while he babbled incoherently. We bonded, though he will never remember it. I suspect Rodney has bigger troubles than just hitting the wall.

Ahhhhhh October

I took a day off from work yesterday, the first in a few weeks. I didn't even walk through or think about it. Sweet relief. Instead I went shopping!! My favorite Sunday activity. But instead of shopping for necessity, I shopped for pleasure and spent about 7 hours at it. The day started at Costco with Mel and his coveted membership card. He's been teasing me with it for weeks and finally gave it up. I was in wholesale heaven and have mass quantities to prove it. Shopping amongst the mass of people stocking up provided great entertainment as Mel can find humor in everything. We fell into fits of laughter in the dog food aisle for reasons I can't remember, ate $1.50 hot dogs in the middle of it all and sparked conversation with a bunch of strangers in the lane that held Ginko. Glad to get out of there we headed to Saks to regain dignity and shop for Coach bags and $900 boots, none of which we bought. Knowing we could was enough satisfaction.

I woke up in October today. 7:30 AM I am walking Paws when Nikki arrives for our breakfast meeting. Emma bursts from the car carrying a Dunkin Donuts box and announces "grandma we have donuts" which we devoured with famished fervor. She makes sure I sample every one and decides the jelly kind are the best. We have the usual macaroni discussion as I had picked up 15 boxes at Costco and presented them to her. She's easy to buy for. Jack has a sweet disposition this morning. I gave him his 8 AM bottle. He is getting over the indignation of last weeks
circumcision. Nikki is gracefully settling in to life with "kids". I am astonished she can juggle it all so effortlessly. It seems overwhelming to me.

October was my turning point. Having gotten this far, there is no turning back now. It's a new season and I am ready.