While you were away.......

Today was a good day not to breath.

The dreaded brown cloud is back caused by recent winds stirring things up and most likely further fueled by the California fires, currently topped off with high pressure that won't let it escape. I celebrated the event by not leaving my house. However, in attempt at being constructive I had a cooking moment that erupted into a small kitchen fire forcing me to open my windows to let the smoke out, adding to the cloud. Sorry about that. I'm either going to have to quit cooking or buy a self cleaning oven.

It's been a long time between blog posts, all for good reasons. When I do find time to write, I'm spending it constructively, looking for the ever elusive inspiration for publication.

Michel turned 18 (tomorrow actually) but having celebrated it last Saturday. This reality is a tough transition for me and I spent the afternoon reflecting passing youth. I am brought back into focus from my afternoon malaise by a demanding cell phone and a barking dog that turns out to be mine. We have already gotten one warning from the city about his disturbing of the peace, I reluctantly get up to go quiet him down. Paws adheres to my command to shut up and looks at me with complete understanding. There is that heavy tug at my heart as I kiss him between the eyes and silently thank him for his unconditional friendship. We have spent nearly a decade and a half together and I have to accept the pending truth of a lifespan. His recent diagnosis of cancer (of the lymph nodes) is really hard for me to accept. I have lost everything this year. Do I have to say goodbye to him too? Michel and Paws grew up together. Michel is grown and gone but Paws and I remain to finish this chapter. I hope there are a few more pages to turn. I'll spend his final days loving and appreciating him rather than foreseeing the calamity, therefore not suffering it twice. I'll be OK........... though not holding my breath.

"If your going thru hell, keep on movin, don't slow down, if you're scared don't show it. You might get out before the Devil even knows you're there".