Day Off Report

Another Sunday emerges out of the turmoil that was last week and it is all mine to do whatever I want to do with it. My responsible self wanted to take care of unattended details such as paying bills, doing laundry, having quiet time with my business to resume order. Instead, I went hiking in Carefree. The day was paradisaical, starting with getting lost and doing the Carefree / Cavecreek loop a time or two adamant we would NOT ask for directions. Though the intended hike was Seven Springs, the destination became Spur Cross something or another. The outcome was perfect. An easy hike, argumentally subjective. Ending with was was meant to be sandwiches, chips and wine in the back of the Expedition. However after discussion became fried chicken and strawberry shortcake at the Horney Toad. With tired bodies and satisfied bellies, Sunday concluded.

Work is continued bedlam but with the addition of a new character, Katie Lane. She is not only going to fit in but I suspect will snowball us all with her extreme personality and rival Emo's humor. First day on the job someone askes her how she knows me. With straight face she says we were once Lesbian lovers ????? With fits of laughter, Katie has intregrated herself into our Overflow community.

Many events of this past week clamor to stand out. And the winner is:

Rodney hits the wall.

Friday night was dinner at Carvers which is a blog entry in and of itself. Late night happily installed in bed there is a tremendous crash about 1 AM that can be none other than that a car has crashed into the wall behind my house. I always knew it would happen for some reason. And so it did. I did the obligitory call to 911 and barely dressed for the occassion to go rescue the victim. Who turned out to be Rodney. My pal Rodney crawled to the sidewalk and I tried to console him while we waited for help. There we sat, I holding Rodney's hand and telling him he was OK while he babbled incoherently. We bonded, though he will never remember it. I suspect Rodney has bigger troubles than just hitting the wall.

Ahhhhhh October

I took a day off from work yesterday, the first in a few weeks. I didn't even walk through or think about it. Sweet relief. Instead I went shopping!! My favorite Sunday activity. But instead of shopping for necessity, I shopped for pleasure and spent about 7 hours at it. The day started at Costco with Mel and his coveted membership card. He's been teasing me with it for weeks and finally gave it up. I was in wholesale heaven and have mass quantities to prove it. Shopping amongst the mass of people stocking up provided great entertainment as Mel can find humor in everything. We fell into fits of laughter in the dog food aisle for reasons I can't remember, ate $1.50 hot dogs in the middle of it all and sparked conversation with a bunch of strangers in the lane that held Ginko. Glad to get out of there we headed to Saks to regain dignity and shop for Coach bags and $900 boots, none of which we bought. Knowing we could was enough satisfaction.

I woke up in October today. 7:30 AM I am walking Paws when Nikki arrives for our breakfast meeting. Emma bursts from the car carrying a Dunkin Donuts box and announces "grandma we have donuts" which we devoured with famished fervor. She makes sure I sample every one and decides the jelly kind are the best. We have the usual macaroni discussion as I had picked up 15 boxes at Costco and presented them to her. She's easy to buy for. Jack has a sweet disposition this morning. I gave him his 8 AM bottle. He is getting over the indignation of last weeks
circumcision. Nikki is gracefully settling in to life with "kids". I am astonished she can juggle it all so effortlessly. It seems overwhelming to me.

October was my turning point. Having gotten this far, there is no turning back now. It's a new season and I am ready.

A review; Books, Grocery Stores, Overflow

I am currently reading; Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides, not because Oprah recommended it, but for the fact that he won the Pulitzer Prize for this piece of fiction. That intrigued me. How good could it be? The story depicts a family: the Stephanides, reaching across generations, continents, and genders. It's a broad, comic epic, tracing the path of a mutant gene of a hermaphrodite. It's a book that demands the readers attention. Jeffery has a vivid mind and is an astonishing writer. When I read great works like this, I am intimidated to continue my own writing, but it makes me want to persever.

I've just overdosed on a bag of kettlecorn from AJ's that cost a pretty penny. Actually it was 699 pennies because AJ's can get away with that sort of exorbitant behavior. Mainly because people like me will pay for the luxury they provide. After all if given the choice to shop at Fry's with their bright lights, gaudy decor, endcaps displaying specials that offer inedible or mass produced crap for the masses, such as Chef Boyar' Dee, 3 cans for a dollar, Hamburger Helper or Charmin for a charming price. Rather than, AJ's, with their mood lighting and subliminal music. Notes of specials are artfully displayed on chalkboards lovingly handwritten in many colors. Their endcaps hold products that I know nothing about so I am drawn to them for the new discovery. And yes, Charmin is available at AJ's, but it's discretely tucked away amongst the body lotions from Europe and Burt's Bee's products. If ever a grocery store could be called artistic, AJ's is my Picasso.

I spent the evening putting some work into our workspace. At least the employee's bathroom is clean. Poor people have been forced lately to pee in chaos. These are the little background details of my daily existence that drive me crazy. When all is not perfect there is no peace in my befuddled brain. I'm happy to report we once again have toilet zen. I took a walk through the assembly line tonight inspecting all of the product in WIP. I can see the flow clearly in my head for tomorrow's work when once again all of the personalities that will fill chairs arrive one by one and the quiet that is tonight will become tomorrow's pandemonium. The best part of my work is the people. I have assembled a comical cast of characters that I take no credit for. They simply showed up. Each and every one of us brings life to these products we build. We work as if it is impossible to fail.

Though everyone deserved it, employee of the month was EMO!!

Nate and Jake

Harvest Moon

(Photo Credit: Night Vision Photography)

I walked Pawpaws right after he threw up his dinner. It seemed normal to him, I am wondering if he is bulemic as this is more of a constant now. The sun is just setting and twilight begins to paint the sky when the most spectacular moon rises over the Thunderbird Mountain Range in front of me. Astronomical events never fail to thrill me. I had to call everyone I know and sent them scrambling out to their yards so that I would not be a lone witness.

For your information; the Harvest Moon has a special meaning. To astronomers, the Harvest Moon is the full moon closest to the September equinox. This year’s equinox took place on September 23. So, to astronomers, tonight's full moon is the true Harvest Moon. In times past, farmers bringing in the harvest had no long period of darkness between sunset and moonrise for several days around this full moon. Hence the name Harvest Moon. Now you know. Hope you saw it.

Comes Around

I've been getting up early fueled by the wonderfully cool mornings. The season has changed. I can smell it in the morning. Each new season grows from the leftovers of the past.

Yesterday I heard first and then saw a huge "V" of geese. I wonder how long they have been flying and where they are traveling from. Canada, I suppose. But they are home now for the winter. It's official. Funny, I remember back last year, early November I think. I wrote about the same geese, but from a different prospective. I was a completely different woman a year ago.

So much has happened between the geese.

Monday hit pretty hard today. Not that my every day is a not a Monday with working 7 days a week. But for the first Sunday in many months I shut down the shop. I woke up whenever I wanted which turned out to be 6:30 instead of 6. Grabbed my paper and flipped some eggs in my new seven inch skillet. I took my bounty to the brown leather chair and enjoyed a Sunday morning with Joel O, the way it used to be. It's Nathan's 28th birthday. I'm going to take the road trip to Whittman to spend a few hours with the kids and grand kids. I loaded the truck with hastily bought gifts for everyone, a weeks worth of work for Nathan and Nik and a couple of racks of ribs. Emma greeted my arrival in her adorable "Emma way". Her face lights up and she runs into my arms. She has so much to say and so much to show me. I parked on the couch with fussy Jacob in my lap and Emma by my side explaining the ways of life. After a time my anxious mind started calculating work things and things I should be doing and I announced to Nik that I was going to leave to get some work done in the afternoon. She ah huh'ed me and ignored it. Nathan is cooking and the smell is intoxicating. Denise and John arrived and the friendly family chaos made me relax. I said the hell with it and grabbed a plate of food and then had seconds. Good conversation and family company put me at ease again. I thoroughly enjoyed the afternoon.

The brick walls are there for a reason

Had an issue at work today. The full crew was here and we were a mighty machine. Cranking out product in near record time. When time came for packing up I noticed a piece part was incorrectly installed on one box. In checking further, I realized with heart dropping acceptance that all 300 units and an entire days work was scrap. Every box was done the same way. Agog and aghast, I stopped the line. The usual sounds of 3 screwdrivers constant whir, boxes clanging as they are stacked, noise and chaos came to a complete halt in an instant. I've never witnessed such profound silence. We all sat for a full 5 minutes letting it sink in. That was a moment I will never forget. The feeling amongst the group was utter defeat. It was up to me to salvage attitude. I squashed my own horror and gave a pep talk, sort of. Tried to wrangle the situation into a learning experience. We were all at fault. There was ample opportunity for anyone to notice and say "hey, we have a problem". I sent everyone home and spent the next many hours undoing our days doings.

I was surprised by my own feelings after the fact. It was a moment of retrospect for me and one they are going to hear about tomorrow. We all need to slow down, pay attention and look out for each others work. We have been to individually focused. I am happy for the lesson. It will be interesting what tomorrow brings. I have to have a big talk. But knowing my employees, they will rise to the occasion. We built a brick wall this afternoon, one that we will move tomorrow. The lesson I will attempt to impart is that experience is what you get when you get what you don't want.

This I know........

WORK, Travail, trabajo, 仕事, Lavoro

..... In any language

I woke up in a whole different world today. At 5:30 I stumble out of my arcadia doors to view a new day. I was disgusted for the early hour. It's nearly impossible to drag my ass out of my perfect bed that sucks me in and doesn't want to let go. Much to my surprise, it was bordering on cold! I was suddenly awake. The near cold was better than coffee, though I could have used some.......There is nothing like a change of season to improve my mood. Bring it on!! I had new enthusiasm for everything. I blamed my good mood at work today on Red Bull, as it was obvious. But the truth was, I feel great. Here comes October. My favorite month of the year, we are just days away. It's time to savor life again.

I'm getting a grip in my head on this work schedule. It's not your typical 9 to 5 but more like 5 to 9. The important thing I am learning is to not take work to seriously and let myself fall by the wayside as victim of it. Work is imperative, but losing myself in it, disastrous. Work is just "killing time while living life". I need to do more living. I feel less frantic and have complete faith in my dedicated crew. Emo, Mike and Tyler are doing a tremendous job. Thank you!

Bye Bye Blog

I was all geared up tonight for the rain that never came. Even at this late hour the TV is telling tales of threatening storms. Liars. All is clear here. The occasional cloud is but a tease.

There is good TV on tonight. However, post Benedryl I will have to rely on TIVO reruns to watch it. My new favorite show is "Tell Me You Love Me" on HBO. They are pushing the envelope, much to my delight. I'm looking forward to the fall season of

TV. Just looking forward is a big step for me.

My accelerated work schedule is not going to allow much blog time. Or anything else for that matter. I finally dragged myself to a grocery store today for the first time in a week. I was motivated by lack. My imagination for the wonderful things that I will cook was sparked. I have a whole menu in my head and now the ingredients to accomplish it are in my refrigerator. I fear they will go by the way of the ricotta cheese, unused and passing expiration date. However, just in case, I am ready.

I'm engulfed in the dark, with cigar... exhaustion leading the way. Paws is in the sandbox, where he spends most nights. His private beach retreat. Emma's flotation device with it's exaggerated eyes are floating merrily around the pool spurred on by a slight wind and the pool pump. Every now and then it looks directly at me. My backyard mascot

Let us add one more night to our lives

Baby Steps

Born at 5:32 PM, 7lbs. 10 oz.
Jacob Zane Moseley

Being witness to a person's first moment of life is an awe inspiring task. My recollection of the event will be his history.

Enter Jack, on September 11th in the year of 2007. Just for the fact that his birthday is 9/11 adds a certain grandeur to his birth. Not only is it a historical date, it's also Nichole's father's birthday. And as Emma was born on my birthday, it seems we are all significantly tied together in some mysterious way. These facts demand respect for fate's irony and a lot of pondering the hmmmmmmm??????
After a pleading phone call from Nichole to come to the hospital even though the event was hours away, I find myself with apprehensive attitude on my way to Thunderbird hospital. It's a big responsibility to witness birth. I get in my truck and drive to the destination that offers no parking. I circled that lot for a full 11 minutes before attempting the parking garage that sported a sign announcing it was "FULL". I took my chances. Alas, they were right. A little luck and a lot of faith allotted me a spot less than a mile's walk. I could have taken the courtesy shuttle, but I was to proud.
Once I was properly badged, bar coded and identified, I was a member of the "birthing team".
Nathan was beyond giddy. Nichole relived that the end was near. We three went through an experience that bonds human beings to the very core of our souls. Raw emotion superceeded daily mundualities. Wonder and awe dominated thoughts and conversation. Suspended faith became our path.
It was simply a celebration of life itself.

Thank you Jack!

.....or whoever you are to become. Happy Birthday Baby!

Reality Bites

Tutti Santi - ristorante italino, Scottsdale, AZ

With my second visit this past weekend, I have come to realize the unique flavor of this place. Even though I am not a fan of Italian cuisine per say, I am a huge fan of this restaurant for the ambiance which reeks of Mafioso and is always inhabited by colorful characters. Boisterous bar patrons comingle with the flashy dressed women wearing to much jewelry showing ample decolletage. Talk is loud and there is the occasional witness of an argument breaking out amongst the animated Italian employees in the far corner. Accents are sometimes fake and forced adding to my delight.

Tucked into a corner strip mall at 62nd Street and Greenway, this unassuming eatery is big on atmosphere which explodes with unexpected charm the minute you walk through the door. It brags of "old world" appeal. Entering the narrow hallway, a prospective diner will witness the split dining areas. I have yet been seated only in the bar dining room and have no idea what goes on in the room to the right. The dining room is cozy and the tables replete with crisp white linens, gleaming silverware and sparkling crystal stemware. It offers elegant comfort, somewhat formal without being stuffy.

Louisa greets us like an Italian mom ushering her kids to the dinner table. Even though we have no reservations, we are welcomed in to wait for the next seat. Tucked away in the corner of the short bar, we sit. There seems to be no system for seating arrangements other than Louisa's memory of who is where and still needs to be fed. We feel forgotten for a short while, drinking wine and club sodas when suddenly we are beckoned to an open table and eagerly scramble over before someone takes it.

We are given menus and advised to read it and eat. Said menu boasts the usual Italian fare; Veal Marsala with Fettuccine Alfredo, Spaghetti Bolognese & Linguine with Fresh Clams are the dished I have so far sampled.

Salad is a boring plate of lettuce with a tomato slice. I have learned to order the soup which is a delicate blend of flavors, mild but distinct, leaving me wanting the next taste.

The staff is accommodating without being overbearing. It's always necessary to ask about the days specials as they never remember to offer the information.

After the entrees, our waiter brought complimentary shots of sambucca. It was a wonderfully European way to finish a meal.

I have no reservations about returning.

A Difficult Oyster

Doing a little kitchen blogging tonight. Dinner was an impromptu affair nicely pulled together if I do say so myself. Good food and even better company quelled my brain that never lets up. I have a lot on my plate. Tonight included oysters, shrimp cocktail and rib eye steaks. Satisfying.

I've never before shucked an oyster. It used to be P's job. But since he left his tool behind, I took it on with a confidant attitude. If he could do it, how hard could it be? The things were treacherous and loaded with barnacles. I tackled the task looking for my pearl. It became a fight to the finish and a 30 minute struggle to open 6 oysters. They put up a good fight!

Clouds have blanketed my backyard view. It's really nice out tonight and has me thinking towards fall. Prematurely optimistic, yes, but something to look forward to. Finally. The long hard summer of 2007 is about to conclude.

I conquered the oyster.

Waiting for Jack

The New Garth Brooks Song (click for the link)

The clock and the fan are competing for my attention in the hushed living room. The click, click sound of the Hunter ceiling fan and the rhythmic tick of the oversized clock above my TV are the only sounds tonight indicating there is life in this house. Pawpaws stretches and sighs loudly, breaking the silence.

Nichole is ready to deliver any second, so I'm in the waiting game now. My bag for the hospital is packed and includes camera, kleenex and of course pad and pen should this thing run long. I'm ready!
Emma is ecstatic at the knowledge of a new brother, but she doesn't know what she's in for. I'll have to lavish her with extra attention during this transition. I think there are going to be many weekends with grandma!

I guess I'll call it a night with my phone expectantly by my side.

Dinner for Two

Maureen caught me cooking again. She generally wanders in around the dinner hour, looking for a meal. Tonight was no exception. The pretense for her visit was to drop off screws. I acted nonchalant but she could tell by the smell coming from my oven that something was up.

"Have you had dinner yet"? she asked.

"I'm just about to" I answer pregnant pause follows. "Want to join me"? What else could I do?

She scrambled to the cupboard to gather plates, knives and forks. She is not shy.

"What are we having"?

"Asparagus salad, Prime rib with Au jus' and french fried sweet potatoes"

She salivated her gratitude as we sat down to dinner at the new table. She expressed her appreciation of cloth napkins in rings, but choose the paper kind instead. We lit a candle between us and dined heartily. Finally, I was grateful for the company. I guess an exquisite meal is better shared. Talk was sparse and wine free flowing during our meal. Paw paws waited expectantly by my side for cherished scraps, generously delivered.

With satisfied palates and bellies, we settled in for a smoke and a late night chat.

The character that is Maureen oozed out with ramblings of men and work. She suddenly burst forth with her idea for my next book. She has apparently been thinking about this. She had the plot, the characters, the beginning, the twist and the end. It was actually a good idea, except for the plot, and the characters. A workable idea all in all. One I might just put in the works to see if anything is born. We argued about the proposed ending, exchanging ideas and scenarios. With wisdom I have not seen from her before, she looked into my eyes and said, "you know Hulia, in your real life it's up to you when it comes to the ending".

Quotable Maureen! Who knew.

The right pistaschio

(Photo credit - stole it from the internet)

With humor. Quick witted Mel pointed out to me while I was indulging in a big ole' bowl of pistaschios one night, that I dig around to find the "right one". I never considered that before. I guess most people grab for the next. I am searching for bigger than expected, and intend to find it.

Drive Time

My drive to work is some 45 minutes long one way encompassing four different freeways if you don't count the 143 which is practically unused.

It has become personal.

When I start out I merge on to the 101 and at rush hour, it requires attitude. Offering 5 lanes to choose from, all with their own personalities. There is something about this road that makes everyone fly free. Maybe because it it the newest freeway of all and commands respect. No one adheres to it. There is attitude from other drivers as I even intend to merge onto their asphalt territory. Once engulfed in the chaos of cars, I adopt my own attitude and drive with arrogance.

That is until I take the loop to the right some 5 miles later to enter I-17. This road is my nemesis.The oldest of them all in this city. Past Dunlap the entire feeling of my drive experience changes. It's the middle of Phoenix thoroughfare complete with wall to wall semi's, decrepit cars from the inner city and just has ghetto attitude. I get a bit antsy around about Indian School as driving is not a skill in this part of town but a matter of survival. From here to the stack I find myself gripping a bit harder playing a vehicular chess game. There comes a point in the road where you can see who drives it every day and those that just wander on occasionally. Past McDowell, you have to make a decision as to which way. This is brake light territory as the unaware just became so at 70 miles an hour and have to cross over 2 lanes to make the right decision. This is my Zen spot in the road, each and every day. There is a big green road sign that points to local destinations and then the one pointing right that says "Los Angeles"? And I wonder "what if"? What if I just fell out of life and kept going?

Get in my truck and drive. Go where I wanna go without explaination.

I make the decision to go left..... doing the right thing.

Writing Backwards

Funny how writing transpires. Every writer will tell you that they cannot tell you where inspiration comes from. It's often asked of me, "where do you get your ideas". I have no idea. But I do know that I see the conclusion first and then go forward with my thought, however backward that is.

Wish I had had this perception during this last decade. Had I seen the conclusion, I wouldn't have changed a thing. But I would have been prepared for the outcome.

There was a lunar eclipse last night. It was heavy on my brain to see it because when there is a monumental event that is a fleeting moment in time, I want to be witness. I planned my late night, set the alarm and wondered how tired I was going to be at work tomorrow. I fell asleep with a "fuck it" attitude around 10 PM because who needs that? I woke up anyhow and sleepiness argued with me when I crawled out of my bed @ 2 AM to see the hoopla and circumstance. It was more spectacular than I could have hoped for. The moon was bright and full with a hint from the shadow of the earth when I sat down. The night sky beckoned me to stay. I did. In chairs with laptop I wrote for 2 hours, glancing at intervals at the darkening moon. I knew I should get my camera and take time lapse shots of the thing. I was just to lazy to put any effort into it.

I was heavy into reflection.

For all my bravado, there are occassional tears. Every smile is hiding an ounce of despair that I am still trying to conquer. I exclaim my plans for the future while holding on to a bit of my past. I damn this limbo and swear I am climbing out, while falling two steps back, looking straight ahead. It's more than a beginning, this is the answer.

Life is defined by seconds

It is abnormally pleasant out tonight. I am in my usual parking spot, poolside. The moon is reflected in the water. If I was ambitious at all I would get the Nikon to capture it, but I am just weary and unenthused. So it will have to be memorialized by my words.

I had a wine bar night last night with all of the usual suspects. Maureen and I have become as comfortable there as if it were our own living room. Matt and Al took care of delivering dinner. We don't even have to order anymore, they just know. James dominated my time lamenting his woes. I gave him my best advice.

It made me wonder, who am I to preach words of supposed wisdom. If I had any advice to give, I'd take it myself.

Ode to the Cherry on Top

It's dinner time at my cookie cutter home in Glendale. Paw Paws is showing enthusiasm for the smells that are coming from our kitchen. An uncommon occurrence as of late and one he has missed. The best part of dinner is the anticipation. It's the best part of everything, I surmise with a smile as I chop green peppers to add to the Le'creuset. The earthy aroma of the peppers makes my stomach long for nourishment. A job the onions started when they began their slow sweat and released a heavenly aroma minutes earlier. The sound of sizzle feels like home again as I pour my glass of wine. And so I settle in to the night.

Thoughts of the day start their playback in my recently disquieted brain and I am beginning to feel equanimity now. Because of one righteous act, I am able to wrangle a new source of composure and I can now move forward. Our divorce was agreed upon and it was done with dignity and accord. That was something........................

After 8PM I am considering a cigar with the stars. Phil Collins is singing "Easy Lover" to me and I can't help but laugh out loud. I saunter to the kitchen for an ice cream moment. It's a celebration after all so I search for the jar of years old maraschinos. Success finds me swirling my vanilla concoction into a soft mishmash. With pride, I drop a cherry on top. And to the pool I amble with Paw Paws in tow. He's opted for a fresh chewies as his own indulgence tonight.

Starting a new chapter always makes me apprehensive. Previous is over and I have to write the next. New ideas, bigger and better as it goes.

It's going splendidly.

The New Normal

Late evening, I am afforded a few minutes to write and hope I can pay the price tomorrow.

Phil was here tonight invoking mass confusion. I look at this stranger that used to be my best friend and can't grasp who he is now. Completely irrelevant to my world, but disturbing since they still collide.

I indulged in Ben and Jerry's upon his departure, calling it dinner. There was comfort in the cold.

Getting over a nasty breakup, one pint at a time.