Irene called tonight. We've only spoken sporadically since my return from Wyoming. Tonight was a long catching up conversation. Irene is the most cheerful person I have ever know, despite her difficult life. She always laughs and draws people into her wealth of optimism. When Charlie died, it was Irene that consoled me, though her heart was breaking. When Irene had to go back to work at the age of 76 she was delighted to have found a job. She is always asking for more hours. She loves people and loves to be at work amongst them.
She wanted my latest news and sympathized for both me and Phil for our current plight, as she loves us both.
I talked endlessly, regaled her with my legal battles, my heartbreak and my constant fear of the unknown.
I asked Irene if she was OK. To that she replied, "oh yes, I have $40 for the week, so I will be alright".
For the first time in my life, I was completely ashamed of myself. I spend my thoughts absorbed in my misery when I actually have no problems, simply details. It was a harsh moment of clarity. I am humbled.
It is my truth that people that come through out lives are there for a specific reason. They are all teachers in one way or another. Human connections are not to be taken lightly. I am guilty of not recognizing that lately in lieu of my own self absorbed grief. This was a big moment to stop and think.
My apologies to those I have hurt.
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