Plastic Jesus

Christmas lights are springing up all over my neighborhood and my street is a rerun of last year. It's boring. Does no one have imagination?

For instance, "rent a husband" was out there on his ladder before he'd even digested his turkey on Thanksgiving night because after all, it's the start of the season and the right thing to do. His perfect yards and perfect lights are a tad bit nauseating and a repeat. He and his perfect son spent an agonizing afternoon installing them and now my garage glows red and pink for the next month. Katie used to live in that house. She and I grumbled about how good it looks. She always wanted lights on the golf course side, but Randy refused saying no one would see them. "Rent a husband" knows better. His golf course side is beautiful.

I'm not a fan of giant blow up decorations. There is a street to the north of me that every other house has one of these things all down the block. Bigger is not always better. These over inflated

ornaments should have been left at Walmart where they belong.

Roxanne's house is the epitome of pathetic. She still has last weeks newspaper in the driveway, so for her, Christmas decorating is an afterthought. She hauls out 1 decoration every year and it's usually done on Christmas eve. A plastic red and white striped arch that she puts on her sidewalk. That's it. Festive? Not so much.

The prize for the worst goes to the detective guy 3 doors down. He is diligent in decorating in a timely manner but in my opinion should just rethink it. His display is simple. A light up plastic Joseph Mary and Jesus. This is fine for the season. But the thing must be 20 years old. Joseph's clothes are so faded he's almost naked. Mary's face has melted off and the poor plastic Jesus can no longer be recognized.

My own plans to declare Christmas spirit are still in the works. I refuse to be the sad dark house on the corner so I am plotting something to give the old neighborhood a bit of a face lift.



Some people put in an honest effort. This is Christmas!