Friday, December 28, 2007

Last Thoughts

I have to recount something I heard today that had a profound impact on me. I have been suffering from insomnia again which leads to long nights listening to Coast to Coast and NPR. Sometime around 4 AM there was an interview with George Harrison's widow droning on about something that I was not paying much attention to until she started talking about karma, one of my favorite subjects. As I listened, she talked about George and how his spirituality was ingrained in him. Nothing he had to reach for, it was just a part of his life. George believed that at the moment of your death, your mind would be focused on those things that had consumed your consciousness during your lifetime; therefore, he spent a great deal of time in meditation, thinking quietly to God. His last thoughts would be of peace and faith, and spirituality, letting the human experience take a back seat to his deeper self.
That idea brought me back to reality today again and again. As I listened to the small talk in my mind I was aware of my subconscious ramblings. I consciously decided not to dwell on the despair that was this last year of my life, which I am so apt to do. I let go of the fact that Paws has cancer and it is breaking my heart, but rather feel gratitude for our long time together and dwelt instead on his gentle departure. I took a deep breath when thoughts turned to the things of life that don't even matter. The details will always be. My reception of this life is up to me. It was a realization that sharpened my spiritual essence and let my EGO fall away.
I must, in short, take George Harrison’s advice and find things I would be
caught dead thinking about.

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