BMW MISONEISTIC

The demise of my marriage is obvious. It stems from my lack of shoes and a BMW.

The shoe problem I have conquered. They are new and expensive and walking all over this house. I think if I had paid as much attention to myself as I paid to Phil, I might have been a more interesting partner. He certainly had expensive shoes, but it didn't make him more interesting to me. Lesson learned, invest more in shoes and less in the man.

The BMW is another story. We are forced to spend days together on occasion. And though I can appreciate it's beauty, luxury and comfortable ride I hate it's arrogant attitude and mid-life crisis symbolism. It tends to attempt to make me feel inferior because of it's seemingly complex self, but in reality, it is a machine that is incredibly flawed. So similar to my ex-husband. Each pretending to be something better than they really are.

This phallic symbol of success is my nemesis.

But I try to get along.

That is until I am driving to the mall and cannot find the right button to do whatever I need done so I resort to voice recognition commands. Like my ex-husband, the car doesn't listen and it too, turns a deaf ear to me but offers it's own opinions. I ask for the satellite radio station to be changed and I get it's reasoning voice telling me he is changing to AM radio because he seems to think he knows best. I try not to get annoyed when I have to ask a second time. And it occurs to me I am being much to polite with the car because every time I say "please" he hears place and gives me some navigation bullshit. I learned not say thank you out loud because he gives me "altitude" information. Which brings up a whole new subject. When speaking to the robots in our lives, are we to be polite and ask please and thank them? Or do we just adopt a cold attitude and appreciate their servitude from afar?

In frustration yesterday I yelled "fuck you" at / to the car because I just wanted him to turn the radio down and all I got was climate control. I guess he was trying to cool me off.