Ode' to Insomnia

I doubt it's a coincidence that the only lines I ever memorized were these from Robert Frost:

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.

Much of life feels like that to me, so much so that sometimes I actually recite these lines in my head as I convince myself to put in just one more day, one more hour, one more minute, the battle against devastation done in increments. But there are days like today when it's good to rebel against ole' Robert.

Today was one of those days. It started out well - I learned that I triumphed over the dastardly forces of circumstance. That in itself was enough to put a smile on my face for the whole day. Then I spent much of my afternoon in the plastics arena. Had to squelch Maureen from a late night visit. It felt better to go through it alone tonight. The moon is almost full again which brings up horrid conversations with Phil regarding the moon - vs - water - vs - women. His subintellect is almost endearing.

And night decends. Two plates of dog cookies and to many minutes alone finds me on my knees on the kitchen rug hoping I am going to keep myself together one more night. I wrap my arms around me trying to feel life, I'm slipping again.

Details are of no meaning. I'm going have to dig deeper in order to get out of this hole I have fallen into.

Darn details...