On Vacation

I recently vacated my life.

I am taking this vacation from spirit and soul and from true self. But I am lurking there again and I'll welcome me back soon. But for today - sweet sabbatical.

Besides all of the drama, I have learned that I really love me. Lord, I don't think I could have done this any better. And yes, the regret(s) are there. But I have made peace with this all and here I go.....

I found out what I know, but forgot to tell myself. I am so able to do anything. I am so strong and I am destined to be the leading lady in my life. I will accept nothing less. And for so long, I have been accepting the "less".

Humor amidst chaos

Just as an update to my Christmas list posted on November 28th, down below - I got every thing I asked for. Be careful what you ask for!

Coyote Sightings

It's just a common occurance these days......

Franchesca and friends, lots of friends.

March Forth...........

And so as this weekend from hell concludes, I am about to put my weary ass to bed (or couch as it were). I have gathered as much clarity as possible, given the shock, and can feel proud that I can overcome ANYTHING - apparently. For all of your mid-life crisis bullshit or whatever you are going through.... (since you are not being articulate about it), I am left to draw my own conclusions..... I now find myself surprisingly thankful.

I am thankful for this wave of creativity that now swirls in my brain. I have a sad enthusiasm for a new future. I know without doubt, that we will never be the same, but it's somewhat comforting, because we will be better for this. Be alone or together, I am growing by leaps and bounds now. My mind, once content to serve, is now wide awake to explore and learn and move forward in to this scary and exciting new thing. And God Bless this life for it's ever changing reality. As much as you didn't want to get caught up in security, mortgages and settling..... I have realized, it's me that is now evolving beyond all of that.

I have done this. A successful marriage, raised kids and in all 13 years, never a day of regret or longing. As strange as it seems, I consider this a huge success. If this is the conclusion, I can walk away with dignity and pride. For this alone, I hold extreme gratitude!!

P, you were instrumental in my life while you were. The parting of ways makes me wonder what exceptional path now lies ahead of me.

This is all said with deep sorrow but extreme gratitude

I will always thank you for everything, and love you dearly.

Damn the fork....

I was counting on a straight road for the rest of the trip.

P -

I have allowed myself to wallow in this delicious misery for to long now. I know I need to summon up superhuman courage, but my spirit is so broken that, I just don't know where to look for it.

You've already packed your heart and I know it's just a matter of time before you to take the rest of your shit.

I'm not angry yet, but God help you when this emotion arrives - if ever.

I am looking forward to the other side so that I can get in to the deep melancholy for all that has happened. Once there, I hope to find meaning.

I do wish you well.

J -