The End

This blog is leaving the airways. I just read it from start to finish and it drug up all of the past that I no longer want to associate with. I am glad I recorded it all. The entries one by one envoked memories of the moments that I was going through. So to have this unintended time caspule is something of a gift - sort of. I'm glad I had the presence of mind to perserve my thoughts and at the same time wishing I could simply forget it ever happened. But on the third hand, I have been given the gift of goodbye that has served me well. Time for me to go............

Trivial nonsense

I think my photography is getting better!

This is the airport runway on the island, St Maarten.

My next vacation destination!

But for right now, I have to face down another Monday morning in just a few hours. If I had had a weekend to ease the blow, it would have been some sort of American dream type of timeline. But not for me. I did hard factory labor for the second

weekend in a row. Sunday night finds me on the loading dock of my driveway trying to reconfigure the geometric curve of loading 17 boxes in the truck that has only before handled 15 in one load. I think I can do it even though I will sacrifice vision in the right side mirror and my turn and glance over the shoulder view will also be compromised. But hell, I'm up for a challenge.

The lamp in my room is casting a weird optical illusion tonight.

or is it just me?????????????

And another thing.......

I am so bored with my blog that even I don't visit it anymore. I'm going to have to make some changes quick but I'm afraid my white bread audience might take offense if they knew the real me. So that you know, I am considering letting my personality out. I can suggest some alternate reading if you need somewhere else to go. And just let me say, "I am not sorry".

I think my co-workers want me dead. Ever since last weeks incident of my choking on a peanut butter sandwich that required the Heimlich maneuver administered by Katie, she has had a glint in her eye. Something went through her brain as she was thwacking my back while I leaned over the back of a chair. Her instincts told her to save me, but she is now having second thoughts. What if I was out of the picture and she could take over this tidy little operation of mine? After all, I am raking in the $$$ while paying people $10 an hour and keeping the AC set at 82 degrees to save money all the while denying them lunch breaks. She seems to have a sinister plan. We started early today and she called offering to pick up croissants. Nice right? She brought said croissants along with a container of PEANUT BUTTER! If I choked once, it could easily happen again. I really have to watch my back now.

Lately I have been toying with the idea of getting a tattoo. It's some kind of mid-life rebellion, my husband left me for the slut in cubicle #1, it's my life and I can make my own decisions, everyone else has one and I want to be cool too way to celebrate my 50th birthday gift. I'm sorta hoping I can keep my drinking problems under control until this phase passes. Think before you ink!

Another recent consideration is to add "Twitter" to my blog roll. Everyone else is doing it and I hate reading theirs. But I have some funny shit to say in 149 characters or less. It would be much better than this droll I have been typing recently. Keep your opinions to yourself. Now go do your taxes you heathen procrastinator.

Hearts to Heros Parade

In the middle of working I realized I had not made a deposit to cover payroll this week. I jumped up and dashed to the bank on the corner. When I arrived in the parking lot there were sirens and Apache helicopters overhead. In the street in front of me was a parade of sorts passing by, I had gotten there just in time for the start of it led by Sheriff Joe and fire trucks full of Veterans. Behind them were miles and miles of motorcycles all carrying flags in honor of the people serving in Iraq and all Veterans. I felt so privileged to be at the right place at the right time. I took my place along 67th Avenue with an older couple. We were in awe of the sight and the symbolism as we watched this event for a full 30 minutes. It was emotional and extremely uplifting and I am delighted I was witness to this event.

Spring is turning to summer quickly

Dusted off the cobwebs of last years blog in a spring cleaning effort. How do ya like it?

Shit it's 10:30 and I have been up since 5 this morning. Thought for sure I would be long gone by now as I have to make an early morning delivery to my favorite dysfunctional customer we fondly call C-Tech. However, no. I am still gasping for last breath. But since it's 90 minutes til Friday, I can feel some downtime in my immediate future.

Have a great weekend !

Tax Man Tribute

I just love Dick. And now you may excuse yourself for your vial train of thought. Dick is my accountant. Richard to those of you that have not exposed your "figures" to him. But once you lay it all out on the table to another person, you get pretty close to nicknames. I dumped my taxes in his hands today with total confidence and extreme relief. Shit, I wouldn't wanna be in his shoes with my chaotic bookkeeping style. But he seemed to take it in stride, as always. Saving me from U Sam's wrath. Thanks Dick!

In the News today

Absolut Vodka fires its entire marketing department in a desperate attempt to win back enraged North American customers after this disastrous ad campaign depicting the southwestern U.S. as part of Mexico backfires. The ad ran only in Mexico in Quien magazine. I am trying to locate a copy of the ad, sure to be a collector's item. I'm sure they will sell high on EBAY when they make it to market.

Keeping the world at arms length...

I was on edge today. Couldn't find satisfaction in any addiction. I tried gambling as wine and pain killers are starting to bore me. Found myself at Ft. McDowell putting all of my faith in an Alligator wild symbol of the slot machine that had reeled me in. I had momentary satisfaction that only resulted in losing the money I had vowed was my limit. At least I stick to limits. But the truth is, it fulfilled a void that made me contemplate the depth of my longing. A fact that challenged my thinking. I don't let anyone in. I'm alone on this island of my life. The last inkling of trust in humankind that I ever had was recently shattered. And so why would I ever, ever let down my guard again. Sadly, I may not.

I called my best friend to ask if he'd seen 60 minutes. He had not. We launched in to an amicable chat about today's field trip and my current state of intense household renovations. I am obsessed with the state of my house and in particular my gardens. He brought it brilliantly to my attention that I am having a bit of a metamorphosis. I am leaving the cocoon that was last year and reinventing myself. He was profound in his assessment of my current emotional growth. I need to find happiness by limiting my desires rather than attempting to satisfy them.

He's so full of shit, but I love you Mel ;)

Woke up this morning to the invasion of the bargain hunters. My alarm rang at the usual 6:37 AM and I reluctantly dragged myself towards consciousness, which seemed totally unfair as it's Saturday and the rest of the world calls this the weekend. My week won't be ending until we complete some 400 plastics today. I took one look in the mirror at my firecracker hair, red nose and bloodshot eyes and groaned in acceptance of my appearance. Tried to mask my disheveled self with a baseball cap and some dark glasses in hopes that no one would recognize me as I took Pawpaws out for the necessary walk to start his day. We grabbed a leash and a donut, sure the yeasty goodness would wake me up. As the garage door ascended Paws and I were greeted with a street full of cars and people everywhere. Walking in front of my house, sitting on the golf course, cars parading past in a continuous flow. So much for incognito. It was the morning of our semi-annual community yard sale. Exactly what I wanted this morning. There was no escape in any direction, so I began my day, head down avoiding eye contact with the masses cursing this frugal tradition.

I checked emails before work, expecting the usual. I was surprised to find this little blurb sent to me by Nichole:

" Let's address something that's going on right now. If you don't have the feeds, I apologize (you really should get them) but if you do then you know what I'm talking about. Baller is now upset and feels tricked into not putting James up on the block. He feels that Big Brother, in a way, made him not nominate James. Adam says that Big Brother wouldn't let him out to talk to everybody else after he was finished talking with James. BTW, if you have the feeds, you know that after that talk in HOH Adam was then called into the diary room. The rest of the house was waiting around to talk to Adam but there was an outside lockdown called and then the nomination ceremony took place".

Of course, she is talking about the reality show, Big Brother, for which we do subscribe to the live feed to watch this madness 24 hours a day. It's a pastime at work. One which we all adore. However, Nichole seems to have become a completely rabid fan and for this I take full responsibility. I'm not sure she is even feeding or bathing her kids properly ever since she got my password. Withdrawal at the shows end is going to be harsh, as it always is.

Happy Birthday Tyler! 18

ROCK THE WEEKEND!

It's Birthday Season

Today is Max's birthday, grandson of Mel F. He is simply the most charming young man I have ever met and I fell in love with him when we were introduced on Christmas eve at the home of Brad and Julie F. I really want to fix him up with Emma. They would make a charming pair.

Happy 4th Birthday Max! Let's do the Zoo soon!

Mel loves when people "blog" foliage. (He's so gay.)

Death, Taxes and April's Fool's

WOW. If you happened to watch the Barbara Walter's special tonight, it was simply astonishing. The crux of the show was human longevity or as we all more commonly refer to it, getting old. Or not! The science and technology that is going on behind the scenes of our lives in order to cheat death before our 100th year is quite incredible.

They offered a lot of tips and tricks for staying young, And it's all right up my alley. Drinking red wine, practicing calorie restriction and massive nutritional supplementation were a few of the mentioned methods for beating the system. Hell, I have been doing these things for years. With all of that and the Clinique counter at Macy's, I am guaranteed to retain my own youth, at least for another year........But it was what Paul Newman said on that show that struck me. At 82 he offered this astute observation, "in confidence lives youth". That made me marvel at the simplicity of it all. Never lose your confidence, embrace the infinite wisdom that comes with the numbers and old age won't worry you anymore, especially when you're already there.

Over and Over I turn the memories over.

We lived together well, for such a long time.

Time to pay Uncle Sam folks and the pricetag of love. Both hard to swallow but necessary. These big ticket items are killing me.

Happy April Dear Readers.

Song Download for your iPod recommendation: Me and the Fox; Jerry Riopelle