I've moved

I've moved. My new Blog is Chronic Diarrhea

The End

This blog is leaving the airways. I just read it from start to finish and it drug up all of the past that I no longer want to associate with. I am glad I recorded it all. The entries one by one envoked memories of the moments that I was going through. So to have this unintended time caspule is something of a gift - sort of. I'm glad I had the presence of mind to perserve my thoughts and at the same time wishing I could simply forget it ever happened. But on the third hand, I have been given the gift of goodbye that has served me well. Time for me to go............

Trivial nonsense

I think my photography is getting better!

This is the airport runway on the island, St Maarten.

My next vacation destination!

But for right now, I have to face down another Monday morning in just a few hours. If I had had a weekend to ease the blow, it would have been some sort of American dream type of timeline. But not for me. I did hard factory labor for the second

weekend in a row. Sunday night finds me on the loading dock of my driveway trying to reconfigure the geometric curve of loading 17 boxes in the truck that has only before handled 15 in one load. I think I can do it even though I will sacrifice vision in the right side mirror and my turn and glance over the shoulder view will also be compromised. But hell, I'm up for a challenge.

The lamp in my room is casting a weird optical illusion tonight.

or is it just me?????????????

And another thing.......

I am so bored with my blog that even I don't visit it anymore. I'm going to have to make some changes quick but I'm afraid my white bread audience might take offense if they knew the real me. So that you know, I am considering letting my personality out. I can suggest some alternate reading if you need somewhere else to go. And just let me say, "I am not sorry".

I think my co-workers want me dead. Ever since last weeks incident of my choking on a peanut butter sandwich that required the Heimlich maneuver administered by Katie, she has had a glint in her eye. Something went through her brain as she was thwacking my back while I leaned over the back of a chair. Her instincts told her to save me, but she is now having second thoughts. What if I was out of the picture and she could take over this tidy little operation of mine? After all, I am raking in the $$$ while paying people $10 an hour and keeping the AC set at 82 degrees to save money all the while denying them lunch breaks. She seems to have a sinister plan. We started early today and she called offering to pick up croissants. Nice right? She brought said croissants along with a container of PEANUT BUTTER! If I choked once, it could easily happen again. I really have to watch my back now.

Lately I have been toying with the idea of getting a tattoo. It's some kind of mid-life rebellion, my husband left me for the slut in cubicle #1, it's my life and I can make my own decisions, everyone else has one and I want to be cool too way to celebrate my 50th birthday gift. I'm sorta hoping I can keep my drinking problems under control until this phase passes. Think before you ink!

Another recent consideration is to add "Twitter" to my blog roll. Everyone else is doing it and I hate reading theirs. But I have some funny shit to say in 149 characters or less. It would be much better than this droll I have been typing recently. Keep your opinions to yourself. Now go do your taxes you heathen procrastinator.

Hearts to Heros Parade

In the middle of working I realized I had not made a deposit to cover payroll this week. I jumped up and dashed to the bank on the corner. When I arrived in the parking lot there were sirens and Apache helicopters overhead. In the street in front of me was a parade of sorts passing by, I had gotten there just in time for the start of it led by Sheriff Joe and fire trucks full of Veterans. Behind them were miles and miles of motorcycles all carrying flags in honor of the people serving in Iraq and all Veterans. I felt so privileged to be at the right place at the right time. I took my place along 67th Avenue with an older couple. We were in awe of the sight and the symbolism as we watched this event for a full 30 minutes. It was emotional and extremely uplifting and I am delighted I was witness to this event.

Spring is turning to summer quickly

Dusted off the cobwebs of last years blog in a spring cleaning effort. How do ya like it?

Shit it's 10:30 and I have been up since 5 this morning. Thought for sure I would be long gone by now as I have to make an early morning delivery to my favorite dysfunctional customer we fondly call C-Tech. However, no. I am still gasping for last breath. But since it's 90 minutes til Friday, I can feel some downtime in my immediate future.

Have a great weekend !

Tax Man Tribute

I just love Dick. And now you may excuse yourself for your vial train of thought. Dick is my accountant. Richard to those of you that have not exposed your "figures" to him. But once you lay it all out on the table to another person, you get pretty close to nicknames. I dumped my taxes in his hands today with total confidence and extreme relief. Shit, I wouldn't wanna be in his shoes with my chaotic bookkeeping style. But he seemed to take it in stride, as always. Saving me from U Sam's wrath. Thanks Dick!

In the News today

Absolut Vodka fires its entire marketing department in a desperate attempt to win back enraged North American customers after this disastrous ad campaign depicting the southwestern U.S. as part of Mexico backfires. The ad ran only in Mexico in Quien magazine. I am trying to locate a copy of the ad, sure to be a collector's item. I'm sure they will sell high on EBAY when they make it to market.

Keeping the world at arms length...

I was on edge today. Couldn't find satisfaction in any addiction. I tried gambling as wine and pain killers are starting to bore me. Found myself at Ft. McDowell putting all of my faith in an Alligator wild symbol of the slot machine that had reeled me in. I had momentary satisfaction that only resulted in losing the money I had vowed was my limit. At least I stick to limits. But the truth is, it fulfilled a void that made me contemplate the depth of my longing. A fact that challenged my thinking. I don't let anyone in. I'm alone on this island of my life. The last inkling of trust in humankind that I ever had was recently shattered. And so why would I ever, ever let down my guard again. Sadly, I may not.

I called my best friend to ask if he'd seen 60 minutes. He had not. We launched in to an amicable chat about today's field trip and my current state of intense household renovations. I am obsessed with the state of my house and in particular my gardens. He brought it brilliantly to my attention that I am having a bit of a metamorphosis. I am leaving the cocoon that was last year and reinventing myself. He was profound in his assessment of my current emotional growth. I need to find happiness by limiting my desires rather than attempting to satisfy them.

He's so full of shit, but I love you Mel ;)

Woke up this morning to the invasion of the bargain hunters. My alarm rang at the usual 6:37 AM and I reluctantly dragged myself towards consciousness, which seemed totally unfair as it's Saturday and the rest of the world calls this the weekend. My week won't be ending until we complete some 400 plastics today. I took one look in the mirror at my firecracker hair, red nose and bloodshot eyes and groaned in acceptance of my appearance. Tried to mask my disheveled self with a baseball cap and some dark glasses in hopes that no one would recognize me as I took Pawpaws out for the necessary walk to start his day. We grabbed a leash and a donut, sure the yeasty goodness would wake me up. As the garage door ascended Paws and I were greeted with a street full of cars and people everywhere. Walking in front of my house, sitting on the golf course, cars parading past in a continuous flow. So much for incognito. It was the morning of our semi-annual community yard sale. Exactly what I wanted this morning. There was no escape in any direction, so I began my day, head down avoiding eye contact with the masses cursing this frugal tradition.

I checked emails before work, expecting the usual. I was surprised to find this little blurb sent to me by Nichole:

" Let's address something that's going on right now. If you don't have the feeds, I apologize (you really should get them) but if you do then you know what I'm talking about. Baller is now upset and feels tricked into not putting James up on the block. He feels that Big Brother, in a way, made him not nominate James. Adam says that Big Brother wouldn't let him out to talk to everybody else after he was finished talking with James. BTW, if you have the feeds, you know that after that talk in HOH Adam was then called into the diary room. The rest of the house was waiting around to talk to Adam but there was an outside lockdown called and then the nomination ceremony took place".

Of course, she is talking about the reality show, Big Brother, for which we do subscribe to the live feed to watch this madness 24 hours a day. It's a pastime at work. One which we all adore. However, Nichole seems to have become a completely rabid fan and for this I take full responsibility. I'm not sure she is even feeding or bathing her kids properly ever since she got my password. Withdrawal at the shows end is going to be harsh, as it always is.

Happy Birthday Tyler! 18

ROCK THE WEEKEND!

It's Birthday Season

Today is Max's birthday, grandson of Mel F. He is simply the most charming young man I have ever met and I fell in love with him when we were introduced on Christmas eve at the home of Brad and Julie F. I really want to fix him up with Emma. They would make a charming pair.

Happy 4th Birthday Max! Let's do the Zoo soon!

Mel loves when people "blog" foliage. (He's so gay.)

Death, Taxes and April's Fool's

WOW. If you happened to watch the Barbara Walter's special tonight, it was simply astonishing. The crux of the show was human longevity or as we all more commonly refer to it, getting old. Or not! The science and technology that is going on behind the scenes of our lives in order to cheat death before our 100th year is quite incredible.

They offered a lot of tips and tricks for staying young, And it's all right up my alley. Drinking red wine, practicing calorie restriction and massive nutritional supplementation were a few of the mentioned methods for beating the system. Hell, I have been doing these things for years. With all of that and the Clinique counter at Macy's, I am guaranteed to retain my own youth, at least for another year........But it was what Paul Newman said on that show that struck me. At 82 he offered this astute observation, "in confidence lives youth". That made me marvel at the simplicity of it all. Never lose your confidence, embrace the infinite wisdom that comes with the numbers and old age won't worry you anymore, especially when you're already there.

Over and Over I turn the memories over.

We lived together well, for such a long time.

Time to pay Uncle Sam folks and the pricetag of love. Both hard to swallow but necessary. These big ticket items are killing me.

Happy April Dear Readers.

Song Download for your iPod recommendation: Me and the Fox; Jerry Riopelle

Be Back soon

I'm breaking my blog silence.

I have no credible excuse as to why I haven't written as of late. I've just been soaking up life, leaving little time to regurgitate in words the events of my days and outrageous meanderings of my mind. I hate to admit when I've lost my "mojo" aka writer's block. But.... sigh.... it's the absolute truth. I have not written a word other than "milk & toilet paper" in over a week. If not for the grocery list, I would be completely devoid of any and all writing. I should probably leave it at that. But the blank page is irritating me.

Life is grand, work is all encompassing and I am absolutely content despite the fatigue of it all.

March 26th

Today is Mel's Birthday ! I think it's his 55th but I don't know for sure. He lies about his age. Anyhow, you don't look a day over 54! Happy Birthday Mel!

It's Easter

Did ya know? My kitchen is showing signs of cooking in anticipation for Sunday's feast. I'm actually involved in a "ham cook off" with Miss Nik. We are cooking dueling hams for a crowd - her family and friends. I'm just going for the jelly beans and to see my beloved grand babies. I might eat some ham. Especially mine as it's going to be the superior hock of the day. (Recipe is on Once Upon a Tine and I probably didn't leave out any secret ingredients - apricot jelly). I was relegated to do deviled eggs in mass quantities as I am apparent Queen of the Yolk.

The fish you ask? Are a whole other story. I am going camping tomorrow night but have no time to catch them. So they are thawing, straight out of Costco's freezer. I'll just throw a hook in their mouths and it'll be just like the real thing. They are going to Christen the new Weber. Oh speaking of, I saw the sexiest grill EVER today at some Lawn and Garden type store. It was $499 marked down to $299!! A blue Weber charcoal deal dropped in to a great big table dealybob with hooks for tools and a garbage can on the side and just adorable. Had I been alone, I would have succumbed to impulse purchasing and it would now be mine! But as it goes, Mel was with me and forbid me to make such a stupid purchase. The Jewish in him has saved me a lot of money lately..... But I still want it.

Pizza delivery is on it's way for movie night. Tonight's selection is "Atonement". The couch bed is pulled out and I have freshly painted toes to celebrate the occasion. Every fan in the house is desperately swirling coolness in my direction. It may be March, but it feels like April.

Happy Weekend Readers......

Up all night

I'm unable to sleep for reasons I can't get a handle on. Maybe work stress has lodged a knot in between my shoulder blades so deeply it is stabbing me in to conscientiousness. I've got to learn to have an "end of the day" where I no longer think about it and make time for life.

I've had so much to deal with this past year, and yes, it's now a year. I feel almost guilty that I am finally getting over it. It rolls around in my head and I will probably always wonder why..... But people soften with the stark reflection that comes with loss. It's much more gentle on this side of things nowdays. Even so, I'll be glad....

to take the blame.

A Stream of Random thoughts

I didn't mean to complain recently of my aches and pains and general malaise. Nothing more boring than that. I feel great despite the whiplash induced headache that I am enjoying tonight.

The folks that I rendezvous with three times a week at C-Tech continue to amuse the hell out of me. We all know about Tim, my direct partner. We have ongoing inventory situations as apparently neither one of us can count. I am taking blame here because someone has to. Maureen assures me it's internal problem all the while she is constantly negative about my part in it. Mark, on the other hand, is my constant ally assuring me all is well. Well I know better. I'm just going to continue to do my part even though job security weighs heavily on my brain. It might be time to procure a few more stable contracts.

Vickie had a significant car accident today. Well that makes two of us and as things always happen in threes, beware readers. You might just be the one to complete the cycle. Aren't you glad you are reading this? She's fine despite 2 broken ribs, a punctured spleen and whiplash.

I have to commend Zachary publicly. Zach is 24ish, maybe 25, no more. He is spending his youth backpacking across Europe. This is something we have all heard about but who really does it? He's the real deal. Came back to the States for a few months to make some money and that's where we met. He's here until May 26th when he leaves for his last great jaunt before settling down in Flagstaff to finish college. I'm already starting to feel the pangs of missing him. Days of shoving in light pipes and installing breather bars won't be the same without his comical presence. If I could do it all over again, I would follow his lead to not just live life, but savor the unknown, even if it means sleeping in the dust in India because that was all there was to offer. On the other hand, I am smack dab right in the middle of my own unknown. Lesson learned. I am savoring.

Life, Unscripted

The faithful duo of Nick and Zach arrived to do my work for me today as I dashed off to visit Dr. Kildare who confirmed my broken ribs, punctured spleen and lack of good sense resulting from a recent car accident that happened just a day after falling down a flight of stairs. Every day is an adventure! I licked my wounds by shopping in the Biltmore district later on, pretending I could afford anything there while trying to look inconspicuous in Saks with my Payless Shoe store boots. The Bentley parked next to my Toyota gave me away as I made a hasty departure back to my life..

I returned home to my scrambled house and Zach's sense of humor left behind. This crow, found somewhere in the garage is now perched on my kitchen sink making me laugh.

Just another Tuesday..

Size Matters

I have a Hydrangea bloom on my bedside table tonight that I bought at Safeway. Mel and I went there today to kill time amongst food stuff for lack of anything else to do. I wandered the floral department and my nose led me right in to a memory. The intoxicating sweet aroma of a small purple plant. In one smell swoop, it took me back to Indiana and spiraled childhood memories of Lilac bushes and tornado cellars and the farm living that I cherished.

It's the small things of life that have huge impact on a soul.